My little steps for self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is a process, I found it such a challenge to wake up completely satisfied with who I was, every day was and still is to an extent is work in progress.
For instance starting this blog took me two years to pick up the courage to do. I had shot content for the blog but I felt chubby, I felt ugly by societies standard and I knew if I didn't believe in the images how could I expect others to engage with it and relate to me. It didn't feel genuine as I was so dissatisfied with what I saw.
I used this feeling as a catalyst to change my attitude to self-love and started working on myself. I improved my health, my perception on self-image and by 2013 I felt ready to put myself out there.
This post is about how I learnt to love and accept who I am and how I benefit from the power of self-love and self-esteem.

Manage your inner demons.
Those voices that belittle you, the voices that tell you you're not good enough, you're not slim enough, you're not pretty enough MUST STOP.
I soon came to realise it wasn’t anyone telling me I wasn’t enough, the people around me were just happy plodding along with their own worries, the negative driving force was coming from ME. I was my own barrier, I had to change my mind-set in order to make an impact on daily happiness.
You are more important than any social limitation, 'your body size, race and sexual orientations are assets.' I heard Caira Lee say on one of the many Ted Talks I listen to.
Again; Your body, your size, your race and your sexual orientation are assets.'
Such a powerful line and super easy to say, but why is it so many of us struggle to accept and believe in this statement.
Be kind, encouraging and understanding to yourself as you are with friends and family. We tend to be our biggest critics and I feel like many of us limit ourselves relentlessly. Be your own best friend and challenge those inner demons, don’t get yourself down before you’ve even started.

What does caring about yourself really mean?
It’s not the occasional spa trip or manicure; It’s the process of daily affirmations. Make yourself number one priority, eat right, sleep right, exercise your body and your mind.
Caring for yourself is having the belief that what you are within is strong enough to shine out and contribute to bettering society, it is affirming to yourself that you ARE good enough. Admiring yourself or feeling confident isn’t to be taken in the same hand as arrogance or being self-centred. How I see it is, in order for us to positively contribute to the world we live in, we must work on ourselves before we can help others. Put yourself first, makes those improvements and then when you are ready share positivity and help others.
Being kind to yourself and nurturing those little voices in your head to encourage and build you up, make yourself strong enough to fight those fears, accept what you don't like and give yourself the power to change those negatives into positives.

Losing yourself
Find your passion, what makes your heart sing endlessly. What can you do for hours on end and feel a sense of satisfaction on completion. What fulfils you entirely. Find what it is that drives you and create it, obsess with it work on it and build your craft; be the best at what you do.
Howard Sherman said, 'do not ask what the world needs, ask what makes me come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people that have come alive'.
Satisfying that inner passion will help you realise your purpose in life. I know it sounds cheesy, but do it, focus on yourself and question all those doubts in your mind, isolate yourself enough to know what it is that really makes you happy, I’m 99% sure there is a career path out there for you that enlightens your soul and makes you happier. Even if you don’t have any intention of financially benefiting from your passion, keep it alive. I personally find it very therapeutic to devote my energy into something I love so much.

Love others
Self-love isn't just about you, it’s about embodying love entirely, it’s about uplifting those around you too. if people are doubtful around me I instinctively try to find a silver lining or help with a constructive solution. I thrive on encouraging productivity, I love to inspire others and I want to help them feel good, the same way I feel good.
After all we hear time and time again that energy is contagious. so why chose the painful route? if we can help one another a little, why hold back?
In a nutshell I think self-love self-acceptance is a full cycle of daily practises. Accept what has happened in the past, learn from it, grow from it, accept flaws and work towards a better you.
Focus less on others and more on your own trials and tribulations. The more energy you devote into bettering yourself and gaining knowledge means the less time you have to be hateful/jealous of others, or develop negative thoughts. Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side; everyone has shitty days, some of us just hide it better than others.
A combination of the two above will guarantee positive vibes, I promise! And et voila practice improving yourself daily, work on self-love, self-worth and each day will feel that little bit more better.

Things that make me feel good.

I’ve been umming and ahhhing about what to write for this post and after putting together the final images last night I felt a sense of achievement. Mainly because usually after the type of day I had I would crash out on the sofa and waste a couple of hours in the evening fighting over a faux fur blanket with Gurpreet while we catch up on sitcoms and series.
I’m smiling while looking at these pictures because I’m happy with how far I’ve come, mentally and physically. I’m at a stage in life where my actions are keeping me happy, not only is this feeling evident in my day to day activities, my general wellbeing has improved tenfold.
It’s common knowledge to many of us what keeps us happy but I find writing here so therapeutic I’m going to share with you what it is that makes me feel good.

1) Self-love
I live by the mantra ‘Let it be’ there are so many things that happen to us daily which are not within our control and over time I have learnt to not let them get me down, feel anxious about or even upset, I simply remind myself of the path I am going down and to focus on my own goals. Unfortunately there will always be spiteful people out there that get you down, love and respect yourself enough to eliminate them from your life.
The minute you surround yourself with people who cherish you for who you are, you naturally start treating yourself better. And by not focusing on the negative your energy is then shifted to completing goals and moving forward with life. When you love yourself what others think and how they act become irrelevant to your life.

2) Maintenance
I love myself by respecting my mind and body. Every day I exercise, I eat healthy and practise gratitude wherever possible. I’ve noticed when I don’t follow through with these my moods alter and become erratic. The negative energy has such a knock on effect to so many things in life so I find it is key for me to make sure my eating habits are clean.
Eating unhealthy leads to tiredness, which means I’ll skip the gym, then I start feeling like a little fatty, which means I don’t feel like dressing up, that leads to me feeling yucky and my skin starts to show it and then when I look in the mirror I feel crappy, all of this turns me in to a sour faced Mitika.
Whereas when I eat well, I am motivated to exercise; after having a successful workout I am more inclined to spend extra time on my appearance; if I feel like I look good I’m more confident and determined to achieve my goals. I’m sure you get my drift but it’s so easy to snowball either way.

3) Spreading love
Have you ever told anyone but your partner you love them? I have, I whisper it to my dog every other 5 minutes :) but jokes aside, a saying I've popped up in conversations lately is 'communication is key' I strongly believe relationships fall to pots because of lack of communication. I am open with those close to me and express my feelings clearly towards them, if I miss them I let them know, if I love them I let them know, if they mean anything to me I let them know. The point I'm making is, if you realise you have people you cherish in life let them know this. Just by sending my love to my sisters I feel better, loving others is very rewarding and knowing you have said everything on your mind when you had the chance is the best feeling.
I don't like the idea of waking up tomorrow wishing I should have let someone know what they meant to me when I had the opportunity. This life is too short for those regrets, love freely : )


4) Something new
Something new doesn't have to be in the form of a new bag or new shoes, new to me is a different experience to what I'm used to. Theres a little part of me that gets so excited from experiencing 'new' things, this weekend we will be visiting The London Illustration fair which I cant wait to see, last weekend we had a change of scenery and dinned in GBK. It was lovely but I'm not going back anytime soon, even though I enjoyed the meal £35 for two burgers and milkshakes gave me a heart attack, maybe I'll go again when I become a millionaire, HA!
I look forward to experiencing new as it gives me a buzz and don't get me wrong I'm still a sucker for good old retail therapy but thats on hold as the wardrobe isn't closing very well at the moment (it's a sign to stop shopping!)

5) Music
I am so thankful to be able to listen to music, it has this magical quality that can take you away from any type of feeling and switch your mood instantly. That sounded a bit cheesy right?! Well try sitting a day or two without sound and then read that line again, it's something we are so used to and programmed to be around we don't realise how much it can impact our moods. I find music so therapeutic I have a trillion different playlists that are like the soundtracks to my life, one for mornings, train journeys, gym time, even right now I have one playing in the background so I can concentrate on writing. I love the emotion music brings out in people and the passion it shows, it for sure is a big part of what makes me feel good.


6) My dog
I used to dream of having a pet when I was young, luckily 6 years ago my brother came home with a little bichon fris and maltese mix. We named him Jambu (after an Indian sweet dish) He is literally the light to my life, I love everything about him, his innocence and character make me SO happy. No matter what mood I'm in his enthusiasm to greet me remains the same, he is always so loving, playful and embodies this skill to be excited about literally EVERYTHING. Sometimes you can feel like humans fail you and that leaves you feeling a little low, In those types of situations Jambu has never failed to put a smile on my face. Animals are such wonderful creatures, my love for him is a big reason for why I chose to turn vegetarian 3 years ago and over the past couple of months I have been refining my diet to be Vegan, I want no part of causing harm to these wonderful creatures : ) I love all animals and they make me so happy.

7) My hobby
My art and this blog are my outlets for expressing myself. I absolutely love sitting down with pen and paper to sketch, I love drawing fashion, models, garments and designing new things. I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I make something out of nothing. Everyone has a hobby or something they are passionate about, whatever it may be I would recommend exploring the avenues that lead to expression through it. It's never too late to take a course or learn more about it. I think we all need a slice of happiness that isn't linked to work stresses. A hobby doesn't have to generate money, if it does that is a bonus, but I think when someone is passionate about something it can be an escape route; when they are stressed they can dive into what they love doing and its almost like a free therapy session.


8) Writing
When I think about it, this list could go on forever, there are so many things that keep me happy but if I had to pinpoint it to a handful this would be it. I am so happy I changed the style of this blog and started to open up a bit more, I find writing so therapeutic and love getting my thoughts out, whats even more rewarding is my thoughts go hand in hand with yours, its so nice for me to connect with people that read this and on days I feel like don't fit in, I can remind myself of the online family I have created through this site : )

Outfit - Cami/Mango Skirt/Handmade Choker/MissSelfridges Earrings/KateSpade

How I avoid disappointment in a relationship

The other week I had a conversation that sparked the topic of expectations and disappointments. A comment was made where my friend believed finding another half could complete him and make him happy again after recently ending a relationship that turned sour. From my experience with love and happiness I whole heartedly disagree with this. I think that thought is almost a dead end road and is sure to lead to disappointment. I have been lucky enough to find companionship in Gurps since the age of 16, our relationship feels effortless and he enriches my life in many ways. With that in mind, I don’t believe he completes me.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, even though he has been the focal point of my life for the last 11 years, my happiness is not in his hands or anyone else’s. The responsibility for my heart and happiness is in MY hands, it is not fair to him for me to pin my happiness on him.
It’s a nice thought to think someone completes you, but by thinking this way we are expecting them to do so. That level of expectation could result in disappointment. If I expect Gurps to shower me with goodies, cook me dinner and treat me like a princess with the mind-set that the result of these actions will keep me happy, I’ll be massively disappointed if he doesn’t follow through with any of them. So not only would I be disappointed in him, I’d also stress him out for not doing them resulting in some sort of argument and both parties being unhappy.
I think it’s good to go into a relationship as whole as you can be, if you are happy with your way of life, you will in-turn rub off that energy to others. If you feel incomplete you are continually expecting someone else to do something for you. Two happy people are unstoppable right? Two individuals searching for something else as well as love already have a set back because their expectations are too high. If you feel different let me know, its always good to see someone else’s spin on this topic.
I think the approach of having no expectations allows us to remove the opportunity to blame someone else. Like I mentioned in my motivation post, I believe if you eliminate room for excuses and stop playing the blame game by taking responsibility for your life the more successful your relationships will be.

I’m not saying Gurps doesn’t do those things, sure he buys me gifts and cooks a dinner or two; He does them, but the key is he is doing them because HE wants to, not because I expect him to do them.
I think relationships work a million times better when we put controlling egos aside and let each other be who we are. When you care for someone, unconsciously your actions make the other person happy. So the key to any relationship be it with friends or lovers is to be yourself, the people that click with you and work with your personality naturally stay. Anyone that demands more energy then you are willing to give isn’t meant for you.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I myself am very happy as an individual, I feel whole and complete. Having Gurps by my side is like the cherry on top, he makes everything much sweeter. Obviously these are just opinions and I’d love to hear your take on relationships and whether or not you think a partners complete one another.

Outfit - Bralette/UrbanOutfitters Top/Mango Jacket/Zara(old similar) Scarf/Zara(detached from a coat/similar here)Hat/Aldo(old) Jeans/RiverIsland Boots/Zara Rings/Aldo

How I stay motivated.

With the end of year just around the corner I start to think about all those resolutions I made in January, I dropped a couple but kept a handful of them going and I can happily say they have finally become embedded into my lifestyle habits. I have a couple of tips that I use as a guideline and maybe they could help you out too. I genuinely feel like these are points we are all well aware of, what I’ve typed below isn’t revolutionary, it’s just sometimes we need to refresh our minds with points that help push us back in the right direction.

1) Start now.
Don’t wait for New Years to make a resolution, don’t wait for Monday even, start now. Make a start on your goal because time won’t wait for you to do so, before you know it we will be sitting here in November 2017 discussing the same thing!
I was so hesitant to start writing on these topics for the blog, I kept telling myself my english wasn't good enough, my writing style is too waffely and realistically who wants to read my thoughts? But with the feedback I received from my last post I'm so happy to know some of you actually feel the same and could relate to me. In turn that motivated me to really get going with this writing malarky and open up to you. So I'm sure glad I made a start on it, otherwise I'd still be sitting here thinking, what if?

2) No excuses.
If you keep hesitating to start working towards your goals try to identify what the defining factor stalling you is. Whatever it may be, it is an excuse. Excuses are a dead end road, they don’t really justify your actions they sugar-coat your actions making you believe its okay to not complete your goals.
Also adopt the mind-set that blaming others for your actions is unacceptable. Take responsibility for your own actions and refuse to blame anyone else. Sure there might be conditions beyond your control that are affecting your progress but instead of blaming someone else take action over how you decide to react to the situation. By taking responsibility you will be reacting in a manner that will benefit your future self not set you back.

3) Eat right.
Over time I have managed to clean up my diet by eliminating readymade meals, processed food and the heavy fatty meals. I cut out artificial sugars too (well nearly, I’m still partial to the odd Ferrero Rocher flying around during festive season) I find these sugars give me a temporary high and the comedown leaves me feeling ten times worse than how I started. The reason for this diet change was not to lose weight but to fuel my body with food I can benefit from, when I eat a clean healthy meal my energy levels are sky high, my body feels ready for whatever I put it through and my thought processes are so much more fluid. I’m less stressed when I eat well, mentally and physically feel better and have more energy to overcome any issues I face when working towards my goal.

4) Drink water.
If I had a pound for every time someone told me to drink water I’d be sitting pretty on a mountain of fortunes. I used to roll my eyes at this statement so much. I hated drinking water, I never felt like I needed it. I don’t know if I hit the 2 Litre mark daily but I know I drink more than enough to keep myself hydrated. Hydration is key, KEY KEY KEY! (feeling like Dj Khaled here) When you pass up on the glass of water think about it this way, ‘I want to look like a grape not a raisin’
75% of our brain is water, why deprive our bodies from functioning at full capacity when it’s something as easy as drinking a glass every other hour? We water our plants to help them grow and flourish, why not adopt the same attitude towards our own bodies?

5) Sleep well.
Hands down I am 100% diurnal, I rise with the sun and clock out when it goes down. I try to sleep at least 6-7 hours every night. I’ve never been one of those night owls that becomes all productive and efficient at sundown. Although this nocturnal method works for so many people I know, the key here is finding which pattern best suits your lifestyle.
This is how I have been for as long as I can remember, even if I have guests around I tend to fall asleep talking on the couch or if we go to the cinema late at night I can guarantee I’ll be snoring away in the background. Having a consistent sleeping pattern allows me to function well during the day, I’m much more productive and can focus clearly on my goals.
And in all honesty if I feel sleep deprived I can guarantee I will spend 85% of my day complaining about how tired I am!

6) Organise yourself.
Those dreams you have, do you know how to plan to achieve them? Have you mapped out what it is you need to tick off the list to make them reality? Its fine if you don’t, let’s start now. Try to write down a plan of steps to get you there and remember to be realistic about your time constraints. I don’t know of anyone that pulled an all-nighter at university and was 100% satisfied with the end result. Cramming everything in last minute will not have the best results. It’s similar to a diet plan, eating lettuce for one lunch won’t make me thinner nor will 100sit ups give me a 6pack the next day. Everything worthwhile takes time, consistency and persistence. Organise your time wisely to give you the best chance at achieving your goals.

7) Anticipate setbacks.
I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news but setbacks will happen. Nothing is ever straightforward and by that I mean the plan you made from Step 6 will most likely fail, but in order to succeed you have to remap your ideas and get back to it. Surely when you fell over in the playground when you were young you got back up right? What’s changed in our adult lives? We might not be ripping tights at our knees (this is something I did daily in Primary school, can anyone else relate or was it just me?!) but the concept is all the same. A setback does not define you, you are in charge of your life and your actions, your reaction to minor failures will determine your success.

8) Don’t stop.
Lastly not being where I want to be is the biggest push of all. Don’t let it get you down if you have not reached your goals yet, use that emotion as ammunition to keep going to do everything you can to get there.

And please don’t think by me typing this I feel like I have my life sorted. I’ve only just about managed to pluck up the courage to start writing (or waffling not sure how you see it) on the blog about topics flying around in my head. So how I see it is, we’re in this together : )

I only noticed when I looked for outfit links online, I’m actually wearing this jumper back to front, the wrap is supposed to be worn on the back. Ooops!

Outfit – Jumper/Mango Skirt/Vintage Hat/Aldo(old) FurScarf/(Detached collar from a Zara coat)(Similar item) Boots/Zara Rings/Aldo

Happy Earth Day

As a world this week we have claimed a mini victory, two days ago the Indian government passed a law to ban animal testing on soaps and detergents, protecting rabbits, mice and guinea pigs. This makes me so happy, after all who are we as humans to play god when it is unnecessary to cause this kind of harm to other living beings.
Since owning my little ball of joy called Jambu (a Maltese and bichon fris mix) I have become even more attached to animals. I rarely used to eat meat so I decided to cut it out of my diet for good a couple of years ago, fish has always been a no no because I can’t stomach the smell! At the moment I’m on a mission to wane myself off dairy and then I will know whole heartedly I am trying my best to contribute to the wellbeing of other animals.
It takes time to right our wrongs, but I now know eating meat and dairy is not a path I want to go down. When something that causes such harm and pain to others is avoidable it should stay that way.

On the topic of nature and all things beautiful today is National Earth Day!
It’s an annual event on which day events worldwide are held to demonstrate support for environmental protection. After all this Earth doesn’t belong to us, it was here long before us and still will be here once we are gone.
You don’t have to get up and do anything out of the ordinary to contribute to Earth Day, it is something as small as recycling, walking instead of taking the car or even using tote bags for your grocery shopping instead of plastic bags. All these small acts practised daily will help our Earth and give a promising future for those using it once we have gone.

On the weekend Gurp’s and I visited the Barbican conservatory to have a wander and feel like children again. I am so thankful to have natural resources readily available to visit like this one, I find it so refreshing to see, it’s like brain food for me, I’m very much anti-technology and try to keep electrical goods usage to a minimum. The further I go with this blog post, the more I think I sound like a hippie!
Jokes aside though, I think once in a while it’s good to pick up and leave worries behind and visit places like this, house chores are always there, go out and do something that excites you, after all we know this saying all too well ‘life’s too short’
I’m working on myself to be the best version of me I can, to be caring towards other living beings and kind to everyone I come across. Thank you for reading!

Keeping it casual

Pack away the parkers the suns coming out! I’m so glad it’s that time of year, the sunshine massively impacts on my daily productivity. I often find when I come back from work I am still in a relatively proactive mind frame to get something done, then after a gym session (max 1 hour) I feel fried. All I want to do is lounge on the sofa and kick back with a nice hot lemon tea.
On the weekend Gurpreet and I hit the town for a Sunday lunch date. I kept it casual in this jeans and t-shirt combo but dusted off my summer heels for the occasion.
When the days start to warm up I like to keep my hair au natural, taking a break from straightening gives the curls a chance to bond into ringlets instead of frizzing all over the place, so after a couple more washes the curls should be back to their fuller body; I’m now wanting to grow it out! Any tips on what I can do/use would be massively appreciated.

Outfit – Tshirt/Mango Jeans/RiverIsland Jacket/Zara (Old) Heels/Zara (Old but similar here) Bag/Gucci Rings/OttomanHands

Pastel doors

As mentioned in the last post architecture and doorways are my kryptonite. I am forever gazing out the window looking at my surroundings; especially in cities, I love taking time out and looking up to see the walls around me. When I’m abroad my outlook is no different, if anything I stop even more when we are walking just to soak up the atmosphere knowing our time is limited there.
When wandering the streets in Rome this doorway caught my eye. Not the most extravagant or detailed but the colours complimented each other charmingly and the golden door knobs had my attention straight away!
Floating around Rome in this maxi was god sent in the heat, very light, elegant and easy to wear, the back overlay is my favourite feature. With gold accents on the belt it complimented my Ottoman Hands jewels beautifully.
Pop over to their blog here to see what else Gurpreet and I got up to in Rome!

Outfit - Dress/Zara Similar Scarf/Mango Cuff/OttomanHands ShortNecklace/OttomanHands (different colourway) LongNecklace/OttomanHands (different colourway) Bracelets/OttomanHands,2 Earrings/Ottomanhands