tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-11072409602416572992024-03-27T16:53:07.352-07:00Suri Times TwoCreative diary of The Suri's.
Illustrations. Fashion. Beauty. Art Culture. suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.comBlogger124125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-81184080846360167842019-02-08T04:34:00.001-08:002019-02-08T04:40:52.139-08:00Visiting the Science Museum in London<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="270" src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/w9uX3dhUTu0" width="480"></iframe><br><br>
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<div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">It’s been a hot minute since I’ve managed to stay consistent on this platform. (Since late 2017 to be precise) That’s because I’ve been pouring my heart and soul into a little human I made and birthed in 2017. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">At the tender age of 16 months I have decided to let him free from my grasp for two afternoons a week, this will allow me to get back in touch with the ‘old me’ and start creating content again, which I miss ever so much. So without further a due, here’s something we put together from a visit to the science museum in London. <o:p></o:p></div><br><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;"><br></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">Since my childhood the science museum has always been a world of wanders, the exhibits stack sky high and there’s adventure around every corner. I was always envious of the children that managed to have sleep overs there (but my inner child can rest – they offer nights in the museum packages and I’ve promised myself as soon as Kai’s old enough, we will go and tick it off my bucket list!) <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;"><br></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">They have two amazing play areas for children around Kai’s age (16 months) currently he just wants to grab everything in sight but in time I’m sure he will understand the logic and concept behind the games and be able to interact with them on a more intellectual level. <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;">For now, were all about having a laugh and exploring! <o:p></o:p></div><div class="MsoNormal" style="font-family: Calibri, sans-serif; margin: 0cm 0cm 0.0001pt;"><br></div>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-40774453763124480112018-12-31T03:24:00.001-08:002018-12-31T03:24:19.458-08:00Why Dubai is our top destination to travel to with a toddler.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNZzTSB1p6dIi9wCqdO0OomGG7g4NVbYQ0OcUnuBDqlvrUJiknAhEKsAbbWrHPkr91YiTOeaGEy0SFGnT_jpXbgzdBS7UK42VN5jmvpebbDPFmubCps5g_ev0fppxcW8vubhpUVNQnyEo/s1600/b1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiNZzTSB1p6dIi9wCqdO0OomGG7g4NVbYQ0OcUnuBDqlvrUJiknAhEKsAbbWrHPkr91YiTOeaGEy0SFGnT_jpXbgzdBS7UK42VN5jmvpebbDPFmubCps5g_ev0fppxcW8vubhpUVNQnyEo/s640/b1.jpg" width="640" height="427" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1067" /></a></div>
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Like many other millennials, Gurpreet and I are very fond of traveling. Jumping on a plane and embarking on an adventure of the unknown is one of our absolute favourite things to do. Now that we have Kai in the mix (our 15 month old son) being so spontaneous hasn’t been as easy as before. None the less it didn’t dampen our need to chase warmer sunsets and we have managed to take him on a couple of holidays this year. Dubai being our favourite for numerous reasons and here’s why; <br>
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The overall cleanliness of the city / No need for vaccinations <br>
Many parents go above and beyond to keep everything sanitary for their little ones and for all good reasons too; their under developed immune systems cannot handle a wave of foreign germs at home or abroad. <br>
This is why we favour Dubai, there is no need to have any vaccinations / immunisations specifically to visit the UAE. <br>
It’s also good to know, bottled water is widely available in supermarkets and most hotels leave your room stocked up so there’s no need to venture out to buy any. <br>
The cleanliness of the city is unmatched to any other place we’ve been. Communal areas are relentlessly cleaned and are left gleaming. Every public baby changing / feeding room we have used has felt like an emperors suite; beautifully presented, doesn’t smell to the high heavens of poo and have always been so spacious I could rave it out in there if I wanted to! <br>
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Level of service has been impeccable <br>
From guidance out the airport, hotel staff and general service in the malls and public areas, we have been helped so much. Travelling without Kai was so different, we could afford to be so carefree and nonchalant but now my mummy radar is on 24/7 and I’m all eyes and ears over; ‘where are the baby changing rooms?’ ‘where can I warm my milk?’ ‘is the air conditioning going to be on/off?’ ‘will it be noisy?’ ‘is there space for a pushchair?’ ‘do they make baby food?’<br>
You get the drift, the bottom line is, mummies to do not switch off. This is why it’s a little more reassuring to vacay in Dubai. Everyone was so accommodating to our queries (they all spoke English fyi) and were happy to lend a helping hand when we were in need; which takes the nervous jitters you may experience travelling with a baby, down a notch or two!<br>
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High level of security <br>
Travelling to a Muslim country, I’ve know some to question if it is safe for women. They hear all these stories on strict rules, what you can and cannot wear, how you have to act in public etc. I’ve visited 9 times in total, even travelled there solo and I can wholeheartedly say it’s safe. Be mindful of their culture, dress respectfully and compose yourself with dignity in public (which is how 99.9% of people conduct themselves anyway) then you’ll be just fine! <br>
I think the media have unfortunately cast a shadow on travelling to Muslim countries therefor warping our perception of what it really is like. Put aside the assumptions and give it a try! <br>
Aside from the safety for women aspect, it’s been perfect for Kai, we didn’t experience any odd encounters with anyone in any public areas and we were happy to let him play solo in the playgrounds. <br>
Also when playing with Kai there was no fear of our belongings being stolen, anyone caught steeling or attempting to, can face imprisonment starting at a minimum of 6 months. So its safe to say, if you get carried away multitasking over your little one and forget to close your handbag its one less thing to worry about in Dubai! <br>
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Food is fresh <br>
I’ve been a hands on mama since the second Kai popped out. I very rarely let others take over and share responsibility. So when it came to weaning him I made everything he ate at home. This has been one of my biggest struggles on holiday, because if I’m not in an self-catering apartment then I’m relying on the restaurants to cook food for him (which I get very sceptical about and paranoid over the ingredients) on our visits this year with Kai we stayed in Fairmont, Sofitel and Atlantis all situated on the palm island. The hotels were happy to make food for Kai even if they had a buffeting system. His puree’s and meals would be made specifically for him. This took a massive weight off my shoulders because Kai was a hungry baby and organising his food was always my biggest worry! <br>
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Time difference works like a dream for babies (from the UK) <br>
Dubai is 4 hours ahead of the UK which meant Kai’s 7pm bedtime could be stretched out till 10:30ish in Dubai and his wake up time of 7am turned into 10:30am and in my books that’s a holiday lie in! <br>
Not to mention on our return to the UK, he was out like a light by 6:30/7pm every night. The forward time difference has just worked a charm for us. <br>
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Endless activities <br>
With Kai being our number one priority it was essential we found things that could tickle his imagination and excite his mischievous character. Dubai doesn’t disappoint from that department, from beaches, waterparks and splash pool areas the outdoor entertainment is exhilarating for the best of us. If the heat is too much for you to take and you would prefer an indoor retreat there are plenty of soft play centres and activity rooms, we were spoilt for choice. If your hotel doesn’t offer any baby/ toddler activities then there are plenty to choose from in the public areas. I’ll list them all our in a separate blog post for those that are interested. <br>
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So as a brief roundup, we loved it before Kai and we love it even more now that we have him as our travel buddy and would thoroughly recommend it, if you were considering to visit!
suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-67609083161886700072018-01-05T04:45:00.001-08:002018-12-17T23:50:31.023-08:00Pregnancy anxiety <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm2e6MlS0MtQw_wrnGPq35y6EvnmeTyb5Ps5YUp_IuF6cSxCphjg6JUmUx-ftH4b87_qYBaKX9Scvh5FM13r4wRvWh91MB1_g92WrdR7w6Bw4VIuBv4ynU4CJ7_2MFUfVrO1iaTmqvaVo/s1600/A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjm2e6MlS0MtQw_wrnGPq35y6EvnmeTyb5Ps5YUp_IuF6cSxCphjg6JUmUx-ftH4b87_qYBaKX9Scvh5FM13r4wRvWh91MB1_g92WrdR7w6Bw4VIuBv4ynU4CJ7_2MFUfVrO1iaTmqvaVo/s1600/A.jpg" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1067" /></a></div>
It’s safe to say pregnancy brings on a bucketful of emotions, good and bad. Although my pregnancy journey was a positive one I couldn’t help but experience bouts of anxiety. <br>
I don’t feel like anxiety attacks are fully understood, I came across this statement online which explained it perfectly; <br>
Anxiety attacks don’t have to be hyperventilating and rocking back and forth, they can also be categorised by but not limited to; <br>
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- random burst of irritability
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- obsessive behaviour and nit picking
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- hypersensitivity
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- pacing
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- silence
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- zoning out
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It’s a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Which now looking back on, I’m sure every pregnant woman for the first time experiences. <br>
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For me, it was dealing with all these self proclaimed doctors / advice givers. <br>
I had ‘advice’ (a term I will loosely use) flying at me from all directions. Everyone I came across had an opinion or piece of information to give me, whether or not I asked for it. <br>
<br> Don’t eat this – eat that
<br> Don’t exercise so much
<br> Wear these clothes instead of those
<br> Name the baby this
<br> Follow this piece of religious text
<br> Make sure you read this to the baby every day
<br> You’re not eating enough
<br> Listen to this music- it's good for the baby
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I can laugh at it now, but during my pregnancy I was so sensitive to everyone's opinions. My biggest hurdle was battling this picture I had painted in my head of what I thought the journey would be, but my pregnancy was far from glowing / nervous giggles and joyful planning ahead. <br>
I was highly irritable 99% of the time, had a difficult time adjusting to the physical and would be so bad tempered when others tried to tell me how to act / what to do. <br>
I guess the introvert in me wanted to be left alone, left alone to manage what I knew I could handle from the start. <br>
I wanted to be left alone to enjoy the process by myself, that’s how I conduct myself most the time anyway; I’m the girl that favours a quiet night in 99% of the time. <br>
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I guess the point of this post is to remind ourselves of the comments we make daily. <br> There is a difference between constructive criticism, criticism, advice and opinions. <br>
It’s insensitive to throw out information based on personal opinions and expect someone else to follow suit; It’s controlling and unfair. <br>
I know so many other young mummies whom like myself have had to deal with the annoying ‘advice’ It’s rather insulting to think that people accuse you of not acting accordingly or saying your lifestyle choices are jeopardising the babies’ health. <br>
I was extremely grateful to be in the position to grow a little human I would never have done anything to cause harm or risk the baby’s health. So it threw me countless times when I was critiqued on my diet / exercise / lifestyle. <br>
I always encourage health, after all the better your physiology the better your psychology. <br>
So unless you have advice that will actively help someone instead of hinder their personal progress; keep it hush hush.<br>
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<meta name="p:domain_verify" content="8cc0ed1f5bb304a5b31126390aa89cff"/>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-67553451886567572162017-12-28T01:56:00.002-08:002017-12-28T01:56:46.657-08:00Remember to not forget the basics during pregnancy.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclpCcr6jiLB27FXVLfZt_w6guE3t7lFXfpdtIv55FWm7QWlxZYFVastovX3KEtRPUGYVEmLUUqYbItanaOvxJ0ly_ZMUCLDYk6b7gmHKqzHGw2x6mOTbYTX_PcsgVZnvjiVIA0821ypM/s1600/A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiclpCcr6jiLB27FXVLfZt_w6guE3t7lFXfpdtIv55FWm7QWlxZYFVastovX3KEtRPUGYVEmLUUqYbItanaOvxJ0ly_ZMUCLDYk6b7gmHKqzHGw2x6mOTbYTX_PcsgVZnvjiVIA0821ypM/s1600/A.jpg" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1067" /></a></div>
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In this day and age with so much emphasis on material items I think it’s crucial to remind yourself half of it isn’t necessary. I mean I felt it so much during the pregnancy that I decided to stop blogging all together. What irritated me was this constant need for everyone online to push items, push sales, convince someone they need products. <br>
Not sure if you’ve noticed but for a good year, I’ve stopped linking items to the blog for that specific reason. <BR>
I don’t want to make anyone feel like they need anything, I don’t want to encourage disposable fashion, I want to encourage stability, eco friendly lifestyles and all round positive mind-sets. <br>
Don’t get me wrong I love shopping and I love new things, but in all honesty its not needed.
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Let’s talk about baby expenses.
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Now initially this was one of the biggest factors that we reviewed before trying for baby Suri. How expensive can a baby be? Will we be able to afford it? <br>
Hand on my heart, I think the saying ‘when you have a child, you make ends meet no matter what’ is very very true. <br>
The initial expense is the cot, pushchair, clothes and nappies. Everything else is a luxury. <br>
Again, I feel like the baby industry is such a lucrative one that baby shows and magazines can throw you off a little. They push sales for all the innovative products which claim to ‘help’ raise a baby with ease and through all the blogger promotions and advertisements, you feel almost brainwashed into thinking you need it. <br>
Don’t get me wrong Gurp’s and I were convinced at times we needed specific items because someone recommended them, but in all honesty, all the extra items were little luxuries not necessities.
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Comparison is the thief of joy.
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For this reason specifically, I detest social media. It’s a glorified snapshot of so many peoples lifestyles; a little window that paints the idea of paradise. <br>
Just because others have every baby item under the sun it doesn’t mean you need them. <br>
Do your research and weigh out the importance of everything, I remember going to a baby show and they had all these extras for pushchairs; Gurps and I were baffled, we really felt as though our little list of necessities was all wrong. But now im on the other end of the pregnancy I can honestly say, trust your instinct, if you think you can do without, you most probably can. <br>
Don’t let the media fool you into thinking you aren’t capable to raise a baby without all the fancy gadgets. <br>
Your baby needs you, love, care and attention. It doesn’t need bedding in 13 different colour ways, 7 different contraptions for sterilising or 5 interchanging seats for the pushchair travel system. <br>
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Let’s rewind to our parents time. <br>
If at any point you are stuck in the social media storm rewind your thoughts back to our parent’s time. As millennia’s most of us are living the life of luxury in comparison to our parents. <br>
Luckily we haven’t faced the struggle of relocating with nothing, we haven’t had to all work from a young age to contribute to family bills and sacrificing education as a result. We have experienced life from a very selfish point of view in comparison to them. <br>
We haven’t started from the complete bottom due to their diligence and hardworking natures. We are in an advantageous position where luxuries are considered the norm. <br>
So if you erase all the social media, advertisements and catalogues, be realistic about what you need, if our parents managed to raise us with hand me downs, bare basics and half the technology we have; are we really that incapable of matching their ability to raise children?
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Just believe in yourself. <br>
The irony right? A blogger preaching about avoiding the material industry. Just remember, I started this blog as a personal visual diary to look back on, it just so happens you have all decided to join me on the journey too. <br>
I know how strongly I feel about specific blogs driving products / promoting items because they have been paid to do so. It’s made me feel insufficient at times and I’ll be damned if what I do makes anyone feel that way, that is not my intention. <br>
I’m simply sharing my journey, if it includes sharing my love of specific items consider it as a friend’s recommendation. <br>
I don’t want to make you think you need anything to be amazing, if you take the time to read, better yourself and focus on positivity then you’re already there! <br>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN8sBZ4baT8v_v4P8EexcOVSkiPH2yCHKctmTupnJNDb7goqT0YsCW65AFyFuekS7EKnt9sWFPU9c9U8DXGxzbKss8fBkrqFXvDwmUXbuEUjfquLR7nfZFiYznyEBJI_jhSsp7G0h89DE/s1600/H.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiN8sBZ4baT8v_v4P8EexcOVSkiPH2yCHKctmTupnJNDb7goqT0YsCW65AFyFuekS7EKnt9sWFPU9c9U8DXGxzbKss8fBkrqFXvDwmUXbuEUjfquLR7nfZFiYznyEBJI_jhSsp7G0h89DE/s1600/H.jpg" data-original-width="640" data-original-height="907" /></a></div>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-4066363264585190742017-12-23T03:50:00.000-08:002017-12-28T01:09:07.730-08:00Getting used to being pregnant.
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Admittedly the first few months of pregnancy got me down, it was physically and mentally exhausting, not to mention we were in the process of moving homes and my grandfather passed away on the day I was admitted into hospital for Hyperemesis Grvidarum so the stress of everything came all at once. <br>
Unfortunate, but that’s just how things pan out sometimes. <br>
After getting my head around the whole situation I started to enjoy it. I felt comfortable in my own skin again, I accepted these changes were temporary and at the end of it my body will produce a tiny human. <br>
The further I got into my pregnancy I kept thinking about time and how it wont wait for anyone.
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As a young woman who has dedicated herself whole heartedly to education, working and being a financially stable individual, I can relate to all the other ladies who push aside the idea of bearing a child until they have satisfied all their career goals. <br>
After all, if we work just as hard as our counterparts why should we give it all up in an instant? Expected to bear the struggles of growing a child and still continue with life without any special allowances. <br>
I guess that’s just the biological lottery women lost out on when we were created. <br>
My main point here is, even though there is that inner battle in most women on when they will or wont be ready, it’s almost a gamble. <br>
It’s a gamble because we are already born with a finite number of eggs.
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‘Women are born with approximately two million eggs in their ovaries, but about eleven thousand of them die every month prior to puberty. As a teenager, a womanhas only three hundred thousand to four hundred thousand remaining eggs, and from that point on, approximately one thousand eggs are destined to die each month.’
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But what if these statistics don’t run true for you, what if you are the minority where you waited too long? <br>
It’s unfair to say the least, but if you have a partner, see a future with them and dream of having a family, my advice would be don’t wait. <br>
We are never ready for anything until thrown in the deep end. Pregnancy isn’t an easy task, nor is raising the children but the sooner it’s done, I believe the easier it will be. <br>
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‘’ I felt like I may not get opportunities to do this ever again, so it’s about time—it’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you’re ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There’s almost no such thing as ready. There’s only now ‘’ - Hugh Laurie
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One of the wonders of being a woman is even after bearing the task of growing and raising children, we are still capable of fitting back into society and can achieve goals and unimaginable achievements. That being said, it’s a shame we’re still seen as secondary in many aspects of life. <br>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj60MLE_r_spLScby50OqRLTOxnj9dw9xe3QRdK67Wnmjta0AUV9bZ2vtO1a00tA04I764nWk4eNQjsrifSdw4oCHYG6lp0pLNZ6B_W25WsXdmZcLe2i0no5thSYkaVdoJoaQ3eVb2Hvq8/s1600/E.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj60MLE_r_spLScby50OqRLTOxnj9dw9xe3QRdK67Wnmjta0AUV9bZ2vtO1a00tA04I764nWk4eNQjsrifSdw4oCHYG6lp0pLNZ6B_W25WsXdmZcLe2i0no5thSYkaVdoJoaQ3eVb2Hvq8/s1600/E.jpg" data-original-width="1067" data-original-height="1600" /></a></div>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-53143173092587027852017-12-20T01:17:00.000-08:002017-12-20T01:17:47.902-08:00Pregnancy emotions - the early months<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2uV_J52ziALJ2wfMI1g-aJRcGIvXAJmRiHC-PMbz1J2YVsUzvlyAfOi26NI2FfR7QWaB9mI7p0YHjXmt2PpusbpZEBKJAZcPe_MfRmVt70eNBWM9ZxICiLljGg4wVNvYmB2EgKkW4tJo/s1600/A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj2uV_J52ziALJ2wfMI1g-aJRcGIvXAJmRiHC-PMbz1J2YVsUzvlyAfOi26NI2FfR7QWaB9mI7p0YHjXmt2PpusbpZEBKJAZcPe_MfRmVt70eNBWM9ZxICiLljGg4wVNvYmB2EgKkW4tJo/s1600/A.jpg" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1132" /></a></div>
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To say pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions is an understatement, it’s a life change, its everything you thought you knew about yourself out the window. Your body changes without knowing it, it’s hard to mentally keep up. Your mind is between the now and the future. Its almost the biggest reality check I’ve ever had. The concept of time goes quicker than ever before.
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Remain grateful to be in the position
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In the early months of pregnancy, I remember feeling down and frustrated with my bodies changes. I felt like everything was getting turned upside down for me, while the rest of the world kept spinning and seemed normal for everyone else. <br>
I was losing the body I had worked so hard daily to achieve. My appetite for the little food I did like had gone out the window and unfortunately I suffered from severe morning sickness (Hyperemesis Grvidarum) and ended up being admitted into the hospital. So not only did I feel awful, I looked it most days too. Pregnancy glow?! Far from it, I only experienced that after passing the 5 month mark! <br>
Throughout the initial stages of wishing I didn’t feel the way I did, I had to snap out of what I consider a ‘first world luxury slump’.
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I was being over emotional; there are so many women in this world who would kill to fall pregnant as quick as I did, there are so many women in this world who would do anything to experience growing their child, there are so many women who struggle alone with all the symptoms I did.
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As awful as I felt, I needed to remind myself, I had a family that cared, I had a support system to fall back on, I had the NHS to overlook all the complications, I had help. <br>
It’s easy to fall into a dip when exhaustion and emotions are at an all time low, but the main thing is to remain as grateful as possible. There are girls in this world who dream of having my life on my worst days, who am I to stand here and complain.
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Research – educate yourself <br>
After I pulled myself out of the emotional slump, I decided to get clued on. What exactly is happening to my body, what are the side effects, what is to come. I needed to know. It would be foolish of me to have access to resources such as books and internet and not know what my body is about to undertake. <br>
I’m a strong believer of educating yourself. Never wait for others to hold your hand and show you, get up and better yourself for no ones benefit other than your own. I needed to know everything so I can then be the healthiest / fittest possible for my child. <br>
I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise the responsibility I had oF creating this little human. <br>
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I started off reading How to Grow a Baby and Push It Out by Clemmie Hoper. A nice little introduction to the world of pregnancy, with step by steps on what to expect each week in terms of changes to your body, the foetus development and explanations of all the blood tests / immunisations / labour procedures. <br>
Confident about knowing my bits and bobs, I wanted to know more; I wanted to know what to anticipate closer to the babies’ arrival, so I read What to Expect the First Year Book by Heidi Murkoff. Now this book most definitely made me feel clued on, I had a clearer vision of what to expect and its in-depth explanations on all scenarios from breast feeding to dealing with guests was very helpful to read.
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It’s just in my nature to read, I didn’t want to feel lost at any point so instead of feeling anxious about what was to come, I wanted to prepare myself the best way I knew how. <br>
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Communication is key. <BR>
I’m relatively level headed but during my pregnancy my emotions were on an insane rollercoaster that just kept getting faster. <br>
But instead of stomping around and expecting Gurps / my boss / my family / friends to understand my moods I had to break it down every single day; How I felt emotionally and physically. I had to, because I was already in the unknown in terms of experiencing everything for the first time, I needed as much support I could get to carry on with a positive mental attitude. Being grateful was half of it, but the other half was needing physical support. <br>
Pregnancy is draining, it honestly takes it out of your body. I considered myself fit before the pregnancy but I was shocked at how challenging I found it. <br>
I was open with everyone and explained what I was struggling with and they were all accommodating and helped. If you don’t ask for help, no one will know. So don’t go through it alone, reach out. <br>
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Erase the millennial issue of f.o.m.o. <BR>
Having children doesn’t stop anything unless you let it. I had many one liners about ‘no more holidays’ too many in fact. But I don’t believe it. <br>
You dictate how your life goes, if you want to travel with children you will make it happen. If you want to maintain a high social life with children you will make it happen, anything is possible. <br>
I was willing to drop the f.o.m.o (Fear Of Missing Out) and focus all my energy on being pregnant and then preparing myself to be a mother. <br>
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Slow progress is better than no progress <br>
Sometimes I feel like I talk sense but I have a bad habit of ignoring myself. I know what I need to do, I just don’t do it. By writing things down I remind myself of what I need to do, positivity, communication, forward thinking and bettering myself are still my main goals, some days I’m more productive than others; the main thing through the pregnancy was to keep going. Slow progress to being better each day is better than no progress.
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When I penned out my first piece on <a href="https://suritimestwo.blogspot.co.uk/2016/11/being-comfortable-in-my-own-skin.html">body confidence</a> I thought I’d nailed it, I finally felt secure in who I was and didn’t feel phased by other people’s opinions good or bad. <br>
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When I discussed being pregnant I had numerous (women particularly) say to me, ‘ohh don’t be one of those pregnant ladies that wear tight dresses’ ‘don’t take any pictures of you just holding the bump (the artistic nude ones – which might I point out don’t show any private parts! ARTFULLY done) <br>
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I didn’t really know how to react, being pregnant was all new to me, should I present myself in a different way, should I dress like a mum to be? And following that one, how the hell does a mum to be dress? <br>
Why should I change anything if I didn’t feel any different? My bump didn’t show till I was 6 months pregnant, even then it could have been passed off as a food baby. <br>
I was frustrated and put mildly, pretty angry. I was angry that someone felt comfortable enough to say something so personal to me based on their opinion on how I should present myself. <br>
I love wearing bodycon dresses, I’m happy having a curvy figure, why should I be ashamed to show it? Am I hurting anyone in doing so? Am I lowering myself as a woman? Does it change who I am as a person? No. <br>
I’ve worked in fashion from a very young age, I relate to fashion on a personal level, how we present ourselves as individuals is our way of communicating who we are without speaking; I love how people interpret themselves through fashion. <br>
So why did these comments bother me so much. I couldn’t believe in 2017 women are still trying to suppress the younger generation based on how they were brought up. <br>
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Don’t let it get to you is easily said then done, have you ever heard the saying ‘don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.’ <br>
That was simply what I needed to do and in the magic of perfect timing, I came across this piece written by Lily Singh;
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‘’For most of my life, I didn't expose much skin, not because I didn't want to but because I felt guilty about it. I was taught that showing cleavage and legs is shameful and asking for judgment and trouble. As I grew up I teetered back and forth on this line between feeling sexy and feeling ashamed. Everyone had an opinion about what I wore on my body. Then I entered the entertainment industry and admittedly during shoots I often found myself feeling super confident, so I showed a little skin. But then, people assumed that I'm selling my body and resorting to sex without a choice in the matter. That's not the case. All this to say, I'm now in a place where what I wear is simple. In fact, it only follows one rule: I wear what I feel comfortable wearing. Sometimes that's a turtleneck and sometimes that's a bikini. Either way, it doesn't warrant your opinion, mistreatment or assumption. I think I look cute and if you disagree, feel free to dress differently. That's the beauty of being different people.’’<br>
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It's not right for anyone to think they can control someone or make another feel a certain way because of their own opinion. It's wrong. <br>
Be respectful of everyone as an individual. <br>
If someone feels comfortable in less than you should respect it, likewise if someone feels comfortable wearing more than you again, respect it. <br>
What Lilly said resonates so well with me, that’s exactly how I grew up, but I’m extremely fortunate enough to be supported by Gurps with every decision I make in life. And that’s all that really matters right? <br>
Forget the mould media and societies have created as ‘the norm’ we’re different for a reason, don’t let anyone let you think otherwise.
So here it is, these pictures were taken when I was 18 weeks pregnant, happy and healthy. <br>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCHoP-C2uEIw7OvAFYc3HyH-ComggiybVX5K-sU2metq5HuEVWYjxt0DIQiygC8h-EB0es-DO_rEIt2ex7WN4CsRcS7DOWSC6DrTr0tlDgbJZRxJAR_tMCizv47E0N_HOWbMwD616bXoE/s1600/I.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhCHoP-C2uEIw7OvAFYc3HyH-ComggiybVX5K-sU2metq5HuEVWYjxt0DIQiygC8h-EB0es-DO_rEIt2ex7WN4CsRcS7DOWSC6DrTr0tlDgbJZRxJAR_tMCizv47E0N_HOWbMwD616bXoE/s640/I.jpg" width="640" height="453" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1132" /></a></div>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0Crescent Rd - Dubai - United Arab Emirates25.1304426 55.117149799999993-0.39159190000000166 13.808555799999993 50.6524771 96.425743799999992tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-56091235942391420782017-12-14T01:39:00.000-08:002017-12-14T01:39:06.032-08:00Our little addition, my initial thoughts on starting a family. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5JQNFFpscsQijmk9wrrLUKpRSLFaEzOswSSl73mr6kMPjf7B8vRAh2BF6Fkhtil1DlPHq6eC0T4qF-ldDl0ZmiKgVZt86Hx9MOfCkyEam_dWTBlZdtkQorgUF6izR9VRjzxT2EAiuc7o/s1600/A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi5JQNFFpscsQijmk9wrrLUKpRSLFaEzOswSSl73mr6kMPjf7B8vRAh2BF6Fkhtil1DlPHq6eC0T4qF-ldDl0ZmiKgVZt86Hx9MOfCkyEam_dWTBlZdtkQorgUF6izR9VRjzxT2EAiuc7o/s640/A.jpg" width="640" height="453" data-original-width="1600" data-original-height="1132" /></a></div>
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Granted I’ve been extremely quiet compared to my usual breaks from the blog, but by far this is the most valid reason. <BR>
Gurps and I are thrilled to announce we are expecting a little baby Suri at the end of September; you might have noticed some images from my Instagram roll pictures at the top of the page, my tummy is looking a little more rounded then what you’re used to seeing! <br>
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Are you ever ready for children? <br>
After being in a 12 year relationship and married for 4, Gurps and I felt like we have ticked so many things off on our bucket list. These were personal goals and wishes we fulfilled as young adults. We both felt completely satisfied with exhausting the social aspect of life, we were content with our stability as a couple and loved the life we shared together. <br>
The topic of children was inevitable, it’s something both of us had in our life plans, we decided to wait till it was a mutual agreement that we were ready for it. <br>
The first deciding factor was feeling like we had enough time to love and care for another human being other than ourselves, a baby not only requires material items, but first and foremost; time. <br>
We were ready to have our world changed by devoting time and prioritising a child above everything and anyone else. <br>
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How much money goes into a baby? <br>
After we established we had enough time, love and energy to devote to the baby our second deciding factor was finance. It’s been a hard slog for everyone to get onto the property ladder and gain some stability in the housing market, but luckily we have a roof over our heads and are stable enough to accommodate a child. <BR>
I’ve heard so many people say ‘don’t worry you will make ends meet when you have a child, you just do’ but I didn’t want to be in that position, I didn’t want to be in a place where I had to second guess buying items for the baby / providing the essentials because we couldn’t afford it. <br>
By organising ourselves and preparing for this child we have eliminated the stress financial ties can have, and for that I’m grateful. I wish to spend time bringing up this baby with all the love and protection possible without money worries.
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Am I physically ready? <br>
It’s all well and good to say we are ready for children, but some factors are beyond our control and no matter what we do we can’t change them. One thing I have focused on (especially since starting this blog) is myself; Self-love, self-respect and knowledge of self-worth. <br>
I have devoted countless hours into being the best version of me I can be, both mentally and physically; So naturally I felt I was strong enough to face the challenges bearing a child can bring. <br>
I don’t smoke and drinking is extremely rare so I ticked the boxes for basic health requirements, I just have to maintain my usual eating habits and exercise where possible to accommodate the pregnancy months. <br>
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Am I mentally ready? <br>
I thought I was, I genuinely thought I was ready for this child when we discussed starting a family in December 2016. It turned out at times I wasn’t, my emotions the past 7 months have been a complete rollercoaster. I’ve had bouts of regret, doubt and frustration which in seconds turn into excitement, eager anticipation and sheer happiness. Its unexplainable! I don’t think you are ever ready mentally for anything, you honestly need to let go of the past, don’t fret about the future and enjoy the moment, enjoy NOW. That’s the only way I’ve got through this pregnancy; enjoying the present. <br>
Now I’ve got that little story off my chest let the journey to motherhood begin! I’m super excited for what’s to come and am eager to learn so much more than what I already know about the miracle of pregnancy and birthing.
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suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-323713634709471332017-06-14T01:35:00.001-07:002017-06-14T01:35:05.999-07:00The Times New York
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suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-14846796041014412342017-05-25T03:15:00.000-07:002017-05-25T07:48:50.243-07:00Trusting the process<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_EjRWlRxjNFuJf4vNjVgT0atGtl1dHHTQeaSpbJYgMCIGdCdY_57qgdSAToyFdH0n5T7DrxpH1-VJ2vJjdLf1Z8kUSSdDCgzWhCdvsWQ1q37Zdtfkberip-fnBC8sdXvbfo_bCRtdzTo/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi_EjRWlRxjNFuJf4vNjVgT0atGtl1dHHTQeaSpbJYgMCIGdCdY_57qgdSAToyFdH0n5T7DrxpH1-VJ2vJjdLf1Z8kUSSdDCgzWhCdvsWQ1q37Zdtfkberip-fnBC8sdXvbfo_bCRtdzTo/s1600/1A.jpg" /></a></div>
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Ever felt a little uneasy about the situation you’re in? Whether we like it or not, where we are today is a direct result of the choices we have made in life. I go through a cycle of emotions regularly about my state of mind / progress in life / general status of what my purpose is. Here are three things I picked up along the way…
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Have faith in the process. <br>
It doesn’t matter what you are going through, sometimes we are presented with situations that make us question our purpose, or the direction we thought we should be taking in life. As much as we can plan events in our life we are all thrown curveballs that derail our original thought process. <br>
Instead of throwing hands in the air and giving up, I think the best way to approach a nightmare unfolding is head on, keeping in mind the following; <br>
- try to be logical – don’t make rash decisions or act on impulse when everything falls apart. <br>
- try to maintain your character in a productive way and solve issues as methodically as possible. I sometimes get over emotional and start excessively thinking when I’m at wits end; usually this extra stress I create for myself don’t help the situation at all. Stay calm, remember your strength and carry on logically. <br>
- As well as being present and thinking in the moment, try to react to situations that your future self can benefit from, short term resolutions will only lead to dead ends again. How can you flip the curve ball around to work in your favour? How can you make it a growing process to help you build character strength? Both of those will benefit your future self. <br>
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Who’s grass? How green? <br>
Sometimes I find myself thinking, how is it not possible I haven’t achieved X Y and Z by now, and others have. What are they doing that I’m not? Who did they approach for answers on this, this and this? What help did they get? What are their secrets? <br>
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Stop right there! Who cares! Everyone struggles and everyone has a battle to fight, don’t compare yourself to them, it can bring out insecurities, envy and stress. Look a little closer to home and see your own development. <br>
This life is not a race. This life is what we make it, we can spend days looking out the window and envying others or aspiring to be like them, when doing this we are wasting our present time and losing our inner peace. <br>
I find I’m most happiest when I’m ignoring 99% of the world and staying in my own little bubble and progressing at my own little pace. <br>
For instance since I’ve started writing my thoughts down in this blog, I’ve learnt how much I love sharing my musings, I love reading what others think, I love that I’m not so focused on the material aspect of blogging as much. <br>
I’ve come to understand blogging is my process for documenting my creativity, my thoughts and a chunk of my life I can look back on; <br>
It’s my little story, not anyone else’, so with that attitude I have eliminated room for comparisons and by magic the stress of being concerned with what others are doing or seeing them as competition has disappeared. <br>
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Work on you <br>
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but working on yourself is paramount, just because your skills aren’t needed today doesn’t mean an opportunity wont pop up when they are needed. You have to have a positive mental attitude towards being prepared at all times for what you want in life. <br>
Maybe today isn’t your day, maybe tomorrow isn’t but with consistent self-development your future self can benefit from being well prepared for any situation. <br>
I don’t believe in overnight successes, I believe in being in the right place at the right time and being prepared. So do yourself the biggest favour you can and invest in yourself because from what I’ve learnt no one else will.
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suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-71583695651589322342017-05-18T05:09:00.000-07:002017-05-18T05:45:05.113-07:00My little steps for self-acceptance<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvpGYz4wSAocTWQVvScL7oyp_s_FU-olW2EnEopWVUWL0YZm64k-RMHGXxcVHaRfoRiJjl3zp_0qD1ZyyJ8byqlt__o1GytPoykoOGb6PAwrObkSVw6GEoug3rPkNmCIj4DwcZMHvSI3w/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgvpGYz4wSAocTWQVvScL7oyp_s_FU-olW2EnEopWVUWL0YZm64k-RMHGXxcVHaRfoRiJjl3zp_0qD1ZyyJ8byqlt__o1GytPoykoOGb6PAwrObkSVw6GEoug3rPkNmCIj4DwcZMHvSI3w/s1600/1A.jpg" /></a></div>
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Self-acceptance is a process, I found it such a challenge to wake up completely satisfied with who I was, every day was and still is to an extent is work in progress. <br>
For instance starting this blog took me two years to pick up the courage to do. I had shot content for the blog but I felt chubby, I felt ugly by societies standard and I knew if I didn't believe in the images how could I expect others to engage with it and relate to me. It didn't feel genuine as I was so dissatisfied with what I saw. <br>
I used this feeling as a catalyst to change my attitude to self-love and started working on myself. I improved my health, my perception on self-image and by 2013 I felt ready to put myself out there.
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This post is about how I learnt to love and accept who I am and how I benefit from the power of self-love and self-esteem.
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Manage your inner demons. <br>
Those voices that belittle you, the voices that tell you you're not good enough, you're not slim enough, you're not pretty enough MUST STOP. <br>
I soon came to realise it wasn’t anyone telling me I wasn’t enough, the people around me were just happy plodding along with their own worries, the negative driving force was coming from ME. I was my own barrier, I had to change my mind-set in order to make an impact on daily happiness. <br>
You are more important than any social limitation, 'your body size, race and sexual orientations are assets.' I heard Caira Lee say on one of the many Ted Talks I listen to. <br>
Again; Your body, your size, your race and your sexual orientation are assets.' <br>
Such a powerful line and super easy to say, but why is it so many of us struggle to accept and believe in this statement. <br>
Be kind, encouraging and understanding to yourself as you are with friends and family. We tend to be our biggest critics and I feel like many of us limit ourselves relentlessly. Be your own best friend and challenge those inner demons, don’t get yourself down before you’ve even started. <br>
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What does caring about yourself really mean? <br>
It’s not the occasional spa trip or manicure; It’s the process of daily affirmations. Make yourself number one priority, eat right, sleep right, exercise your body and your mind. <br>
Caring for yourself is having the belief that what you are within is strong enough to shine out and contribute to bettering society, it is affirming to yourself that you ARE good enough. Admiring yourself or feeling confident isn’t to be taken in the same hand as arrogance or being self-centred. How I see it is, in order for us to positively contribute to the world we live in, we must work on ourselves before we can help others. Put yourself first, makes those improvements and then when you are ready share positivity and help others. <br>
Being kind to yourself and nurturing those little voices in your head to encourage and build you up, make yourself strong enough to fight those fears, accept what you don't like and give yourself the power to change those negatives into positives. <br>
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Losing yourself <br>
Find your passion, what makes your heart sing endlessly. What can you do for hours on end and feel a sense of satisfaction on completion. What fulfils you entirely. Find what it is that drives you and create it, obsess with it work on it and build your craft; be the best at what you do. <br>
Howard Sherman said, 'do not ask what the world needs, ask what makes me come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people that have come alive'. <br>
Satisfying that inner passion will help you realise your purpose in life. I know it sounds cheesy, but do it, focus on yourself and question all those doubts in your mind, isolate yourself enough to know what it is that really makes you happy, I’m 99% sure there is a career path out there for you that enlightens your soul and makes you happier. Even if you don’t have any intention of financially benefiting from your passion, keep it alive. I personally find it very therapeutic to devote my energy into something I love so much.
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Love others <br>
Self-love isn't just about you, it’s about embodying love entirely, it’s about uplifting those around you too. if people are doubtful around me I instinctively try to find a silver lining or help with a constructive solution. I thrive on encouraging productivity, I love to inspire others and I want to help them feel good, the same way I feel good. <br>
After all we hear time and time again that energy is contagious. so why chose the painful route? if we can help one another a little, why hold back? <br>
In a nutshell I think self-love self-acceptance is a full cycle of daily practises. Accept what has happened in the past, learn from it, grow from it, accept flaws and work towards a better you. <br>
Focus less on others and more on your own trials and tribulations. The more energy you devote into bettering yourself and gaining knowledge means the less time you have to be hateful/jealous of others, or develop negative thoughts. Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side; everyone has shitty days, some of us just hide it better than others. <br>
A combination of the two above will guarantee positive vibes, I promise! And et voila practice improving yourself daily, work on self-love, self-worth and each day will feel that little bit more better. <br>
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_jUwqNTUObOOHE2mx0odbwrig-auTDgOqvo6GL1UE-mLLC03Q-bgLrE2CPMRB6ZPho5D7HNlTByfRqENHmkIEyxiNbZ8Z6a_m4tjA1LXHjEDoDj-6MgnA1Xvvp8CB5m5B_tklkkMnlAY/s1600/1H.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg_jUwqNTUObOOHE2mx0odbwrig-auTDgOqvo6GL1UE-mLLC03Q-bgLrE2CPMRB6ZPho5D7HNlTByfRqENHmkIEyxiNbZ8Z6a_m4tjA1LXHjEDoDj-6MgnA1Xvvp8CB5m5B_tklkkMnlAY/s1600/1H.jpg" /></a></div>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-37982913485643090842017-03-25T10:33:00.001-07:002017-03-25T11:16:35.044-07:00What I learn't after losing a loved one. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUKCcDzkP8o_MQcGSYpqcNSqI4dLMayB3k5oH7UO6b2ZXGZfc-RF3f3TjkDBEhqp6lDDCi5KPxPKFpjt6Pvw_mZNRDvdmq8Acv5dmt5JreGIep-1gi2qO1c5y1dPMxUHyESTZ-wk4xI4U/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiUKCcDzkP8o_MQcGSYpqcNSqI4dLMayB3k5oH7UO6b2ZXGZfc-RF3f3TjkDBEhqp6lDDCi5KPxPKFpjt6Pvw_mZNRDvdmq8Acv5dmt5JreGIep-1gi2qO1c5y1dPMxUHyESTZ-wk4xI4U/s640/1A.jpg" width="640" height="453" /></a></div>
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There’s no handbook for how to handle life situations, we simply live and learn along the way. After recently experiencing the loss of a loved one, I’ve come to understand there’s no right or wrong way to deal with grief. No one can guide you on how to grieve. We all react to situations differently and with grief not only is your mind trying to accept the fact someone has gone, It then needs to adjust to the change and impact their absence has to your daily life. <br>
I don’t know how to make the process less painful or pass quicker, I just have a few pointers I’ve learnt over the past month. <br>
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Some days are better than others. <br>
I find myself more tearful and emotionally fragile on the oddest days. It can be the smallest thing that triggers a sad spell or even make me question myself and think twice about whether or not I have really accepted what happened. Some days I’m smiling, laughing and working towards a much more positive attitude. Then something at the back of my mind feels almost guilty for laughing and I go back to shutting down my emotions.
This rollercoaster is the only way I know how to deal it, but I understand its normal to have good and bad days, the main thing is you are trying to adjust to the new life without the loved one. <br>
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Don't block it out. <br>
Out of sight, out of mind, right? No, in this case grief is not like the parking ticket you can hide under paperwork. I feel like its an unavoidable thunderstorm, you just have to trawl through it and embrace the emotions as best you can. <br>
I say this because I strongly believe that time does not heal. The saying 'time heals' is thrown around so frequently I refuse to believe it does. If I sit and think about my most painful moments, I can revisit them in an instant and they still leave me with a sharp pain/ lump in the back of my throat. The pain never left me, time didn't heal anything; time only gave me opportunities to make new memories, happy ones to replace the ones that hurt. <br>
The new memories helped me not to focus on the pain as much. So don't think by shutting away the emotions of grief time will magically erase them. They will be lurking around as soon as you are ready to accept the loss. <br>
The advantage we have it the luxury of time, we are still living, therefore we need to address our emotions, work through the pain and use time wisely making new memories to help our future selves. <br>
Maybe isolate yourself to collect your thoughts, or like myself you might find solace in writing, so start a diary and write down everything you are feeling. If you feel comfortable being around more people then do just that, do whatever it takes for you to understand what it is you are going through. <br>
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Going back to normality. <br>
What is normal when someone so close is no longer there? How do you carry on with a daily routine when so much of it was consumed by that loved one? <br>
I don't know how apart from physically running on autopilot until you can mentally adjust to the idea of doing things without them. <br>
Remembering the simple basics go out the window like eating, sleeping even showering. <br>
It takes a while (depending on how close you were to the loved one) to let the mind accept what has happened and remind yourself even though you don't want to, that you physically need to continue as best as you can. <br>
Neglecting yourself won't achieve anything or make the grieving process easier. Normality in your daily routine is essential, taking care of yourself will help give you strength to mentally accept what is going on and allow your mind to emotionally process it. <br>
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You don't have to do this alone. <br>
I cannot be more thankful for my cultural support and my families values and beliefs. We may not see each other daily, we may not even keep in touch but through our toughest time, we were all there. Dealing with grief as a unit helped me massively. <br>
In my case, Ive never experienced the loss of an immediate family member and I found it overwhelming to say the least. If it weren't for my support system (family and Gurps) I know I would be shutting myself off from society, resisting normality and shying away from accepting what happened. <br>
I was overwhelmed with emotion and that's fine, thats a normal part of grieving but I didn't know what to do, I didn't know how to react, I could only communicate with those around me how I felt inside, tell them how I was hurting. <br>
This helped release a lot of pain and also through communicating it brought the family closer, we were open about our feelings, became more compassionate and sympathetic towards one another. <br>
I understand sometimes discussing these emotions with family can be difficult, but don't hurt in silence, speak to a partner, friend or even seek professional help. <br> Expressing emotion is cathartic and sharing a problem with someone who cares for you will help you deal with the situation a lot better. <br>
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What to take from one of life's most painful experiences. <br>
As mentioned at the start of this post, we live and we learn. I've had so much time to sit with my thoughts and process what has actually happened. As much as the loss of a close one saddens me, I am also filled with an insane sense of gratitude. <br>
I'm so very grateful for the time we had, I'm so grateful for being able to have him in my life for this long, I'm so grateful for all the memories. <br>
My eyes well up when I type this but I'm happy to look back on our relationship and I wouldn't trade a second of it. <br>
This loss has grounded me in terms of how I maintain my relations, has taught me the value of time and communication, It has taught me the strength of family and unity. <br>
I can't walk away completely broken, that will benefit no-one, I smile looking back on the good times and look forward to making new memories. <br>
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suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-63853469202241710842017-03-02T07:54:00.001-08:002017-03-02T07:54:08.256-08:00Listening to my gut feeling and making personal improvements <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2xRVaLvNpG77235Uyp4LSsAuYG-y4o7CWBK1PnxFzjhqqVF1hi4DycyoDJn_bFcebEVjiLU4pZ0MlN6kceHEqLn_UrJl7U6uS_GsxXdfIbNjlrgET0BrTbZDjKgJUcJV_fC9z5uNSHVE/s1600/6.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEi2xRVaLvNpG77235Uyp4LSsAuYG-y4o7CWBK1PnxFzjhqqVF1hi4DycyoDJn_bFcebEVjiLU4pZ0MlN6kceHEqLn_UrJl7U6uS_GsxXdfIbNjlrgET0BrTbZDjKgJUcJV_fC9z5uNSHVE/s1600/6.jpg" /></a></div>
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Ever felt this feeling at the pit of your stomach, with everything inside you telling you your just not meant to be there? I have, many times over. <br>
I’ve experienced this during social events, during my working day on my 9-5 and even at home. It’s almost as if I knew I needed to do something to break away from where I was. <br>
I didn’t know what it was I needed to do, I didn’t know how to explain exactly what I was feeling, but I knew the place I was no longer kept me happy and to shake the anxious feeling I needed to move on. <br>
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It’s okay to outgrow people. <BR>
From a young age I’ve always been happy go lucky with my social life. For me it didn’t and still doesn’t define my happiness, I was just as comfortable sitting on the sofa at home as I was relaxing in a sheesha lounge with friends or in a bar. I didn’t need to have a wild Friday and Saturday night to feel like I’ve ‘lived’. <br>
I started realising about 4 years ago that the level of engagement I would have with people was no longer fulfilling and if anything made me question my need to attend social events all together. I noticed personal changes I would make around individuals, I’d talk a little less and listen a little more. <br>
The more I listened the more I felt at unease, I realised I had mentally outgrown the people I spent the most part of my teenage years and 20’s with. <br>
I wanted to discuss achievements, set goals and work towards bettering myself, I couldn’t care less about X,Y or Z, mediocre gossip or reality tv talk. I didn’t want to binge drink till the early hours of the morning then eat trash at 3am, I didn’t want to experiment with drugs because it’s not a lifestyle that interests me in the slightest. <br>
In a sense I didn’t understand what I was feeling back then but now I know it’s safe to say, It’s okay to not fit in, you don’t have to follow the rest of them; if you feel different follow your gut. If that road leads you temporarily down a route by yourself don’t panic, when you focus on what you believe and start working towards goals that interest you, likeminded people will be on the same path as you and a new set of friends will develop. <br>
I’m not saying drop your friendly entirely, I just need you to know, it’s not a bad thing to feel out of place. Use your gut instinct to help you better your situation and move on towards a position that keep you happy and betters your future self. <br>
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The dreaded 9-5 <br>
Ever sat at your desk and thought, is this it? Is this my life? Is this excel spreadsheet going to be the death of me? <br>
Unless you’re lucky to have been blessed with a silver spoon in your mouth, you, like myself will have to work to fund a lifestyle. Money is crucial in our lives, for the basics; food and shelter, everything else is a cherry on top. <br>
Why are so many people stuck in a 9-5 they loathe? Why not be fearless enough to pursue your passion, follow your true dream and work towards loving your job? <br>
I personally think it’s easy to get complacent with life, but if like myself you hate the reoccurring thought of knowing you are not fulfilling your maximum potential, changes need to be made. <br>
It’s not as simple as packing up your job and doing what you love, I know; I’m in that position. But I believe if you find your passion, work on it with all your spare time, the time you invest in making your dreams become a reality will outwork the 9-5 and the hard work will pay off, allowing you to pursue a field of your choice. <br>
You just need to be motivated enough to keep at it even when the rewards are slim, keep at it even when you aren’t receiving the recognition you feel you deserve, keep at it until you are in a position to comfortably leave your 9-5 and depend on your passion to bring in revenue. <br>
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Is my house really home? <br>
If I’m not at work I’m usually at home, so it’s essential for me that my living space works for me and not against me. I mean that in the sense of it being my sanctuary; a place I can unwind and feel relaxed. <br>
I’ve been lucky enough to move three times in the past three years which is a blessing in disguise, it’s never fun to part with a location you get comfortable in but there is a silver lining, you are forced to assess your material possessions. <br>
When boxing everything up I make a point of clearing out items I no longer use and general junk I accumulate over the years. <br>
This detox of material possessions is what keeps my home my safe heaven. I cannot stand unnecessary clutter, I don’t enjoy over packing my storage units, so I keep items to a minimum. Everything I own from my books to clothes and kitchen utensils are in a set place and all accessible. <BR>
A pet peeve is knowing I have something but not being able to find it, argh!!! How frustrating. So to avoid ever falling into that gap again I have adopted the process of smart shopping and regular clear outs. My home is my happy pace and I make sure I do everything possible to maintain that peace. <br>
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Listen to your gut feeling, no one knows you better than yourself. Sometimes it’s good to leave a comfort zone because I’ve learnt most the time I’m holding onto them for a false sense of security; if I really sit and think about it I didn’t need any of the comfort zones I led myself to believe I needed, I was strong enough to cope by myself. I hope you are too : )
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Outfit - Skirt/HouseOfCB Blouse/Zara Choker/DIY suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-19045687830362070212017-01-19T07:14:00.000-08:002017-01-19T07:28:41.715-08:00My personal fitness progress<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR4rxTpEEbxkR2ucFTTPq7aiY_83vvG0dIDO7yi-LplUhH9k4lKudlA5X_aovqjpfndc1QrJaHAnzw5BcJm4IneOjmd7gkEQ-49jMeHcWz8snHFQSt1bgVEHhp8EG_VzqT6fxAHsXkANg/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjR4rxTpEEbxkR2ucFTTPq7aiY_83vvG0dIDO7yi-LplUhH9k4lKudlA5X_aovqjpfndc1QrJaHAnzw5BcJm4IneOjmd7gkEQ-49jMeHcWz8snHFQSt1bgVEHhp8EG_VzqT6fxAHsXkANg/s1600/1A.jpg" /></a></div>
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Overcoming fears. <br>
One of my biggest fears has been putting myself out there. I have been happy to share my creativity on this blog because there is no right or wrong for style; everyone is entitled to their opinion and I’m confident enough to encounter criticism on my fashion without it phasing me. <br>
It’s this whole writing and communicating my thoughts part that held me back. English, even though it’s my first language has never been my strong point. I’ve never excelled in creative writing or even basic grammar. I didn’t and still don’t click well with it, so I was really anxious to start writing posts, but the response I’ve had from you guys reading them has been extremely encouraging and I’m sure you can overlook the rustiness of my writing and understand what points I am trying to put across. <br>
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Releasing this set of images has been my 2nd biggest fear. We shot them about 4 months ago and you may look at them and think, what’s the big deal? <br>
For someone that has consistently worked out for the past 3 years 3 times a week minimum without fail I was extremely disheartened by what I saw.
I was expecting different results, I genuinely thought I’d have more definition; Instead I just saw chunky little legs, my usual skinny torso and a chubby face. <br>
But again I need to remind myself that everyone has to start somewhere, the idea of ‘perfection’ doesn’t exist and is all fabricated by the media. So with that in mind, 4 months later I am posting this to have as a benchmark, things can only get better! <br>
I'm still a fitness rookie and have many more mountains to move but for now let’s dive in to what I do know… <br>
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Why do I exercise? <br>
So putting aside my appearance issues ( I need to practise what I preach every so often and <a href="https://suritimestwo.blogspot.co.uk/2016/11/being-comfortable-in-my-own-skin.html">re-read my Body Confidence write up</a>) <br>
I exercise for my health, I exercise for a better future. In my early 20’s there were no sirens flashing in order for me to think there was anything wrong with my lifestyle. I would eat irregular meals, skip breakfasts, binge eat junk and wouldn’t really go near vegetables or whole foods with a barge pole, my hair, nails, skin and body seemed healthy. <br>
It was only 3 years ago when I lost weight through stress and anxiety (that’s a whole other post topic) I dropped my ‘baby fat’ rapidly. Looking back on those times it was an extremely unhealthy way to lose weight but it was all too much for me to handle. <br>
I decided I wanted to turn things around for myself and not only feel good about my weight, feel fitter and healthier. <br>
I invested in a personal trainer to show me the ropes. I was clueless about fitness and what exercises to do, I knew it was an area I needed schooling in. I cleaned up my diet, introduced a variety of exercises and training methods and overtime my silhouette changed from tubby to toned. <br>
I instantly knew exercise was the key to life, (as cheesy as that sounds) Keeping healthy and fit felt imbedded into my everyday routine. Not to mention how much I enjoyed the results visually and internally. You feel fresh, revitalised and approach life with a can do attitude instead of a defeated/full of excuses lifestyle. <br>
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You are what you eat. <br>
When you eat crap you feel like crap. What are you feeding your body? It’s essential to be fully aware of the foods we put in our bodies, I read this online and <a href="https://www.instagram.com/chakabars/">Chaka Clarke</a> has hit the nail on the head entirely; <br>
‘Healthy is a necessity for happiness, only when you are healthy can you be truly happy. Respect yourself, you have been given the gift of life, so why are you killing yourself? <br>
‘’Cancer, obesity, diabetes, allergies, chronic illnesses and mental health issue etc are all exacerbated by eating and living unhealthy. <br>
You are what you eat, natural healthy food is medicine. <br>
If you go to the doctors complaining about having a headache, the doctor will say take an aspirin/ paracetamol and rest. Never really addressing the root cause of the problem. Lack of water, looking at the screen all day, not sleeping enough, poor diet, too much alcohol etc. Yet you didn’t get a headache for lack of aspirin… <br>
Medicine is an industry as well as science. The human body is remarkable and is the only place we have to live. Our bodies are made up of skin, muscle, bones and organs. The organs are made off tissue and those tissues are made of cells. So in essence we are just millions of cells, but those cells die out every day and have to be replaced every day. <br>
So how do we replace them? How do we build new cells? <br>
Raw materials come from only one place, what we put in our mouths. If we put healthy nutritious food in our mouths we can make healthy cells. <br>
If we put bad food in our bodies, then we have raw materials that will make inferior cells, or sick cells that make us sick. If you poison your body with toxins your body will become toxic and poisoned. You will endure illness as a result of your actions.’ <br>
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Feeling a little more aware after reading that paragraph? Me too, it definitely struck a chord with my perception on food. My food policy is simple, if it come from the ground or a tree I’ll eat it, anything else no thank you. I refuse to eat a ready meal for a handful of reasons; <br>
Where has it come from? Who made it? What is inside it? How many ingredients am I familiar with? <br>
My mum has always made clean, wholesome, healthy meals from scratch so I literally freak when I’m presented with processed food. I need to know what I’m eating is fresh, natural and isn’t pumped with more chemicals then needs be. <br>
Not to mention I’m extremely happy to sit and eat plain vegetables all day every day. I don’t eat based on my emotions, I like to eat to feel satisfied and energised, eating for nutrition not weight loss. <br>
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What is the end goal? <br>
The goal is to be fit, healthy and flexible for life. <br>
The goal is to be strong and less vulnerable to illness and injury. <br>
The goal is to be better mentally and physically than yesterday. <br>
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A little food for thought. <br>
And lastly, for those that have an opinion on what I show and how I dress. (Perfectly worded by <a href="https://www.instagram.com/sjamesfit/">Sam James</a>) <br>
Modesty is not the only way to be respected. I used to think I would never post ‘revealing’ pictures online because people would think I was a certain ‘kind’ of girl, it would make me less respectable. <br>
That way of thinking was a bit of internalized misogyny, thinking the idea that girls who show off their bodies are ‘less’ then girls who cover up, but here’s the thing; someone choosing to show parts of themselves does not give anyone a free pass to throw judgment, demean them or think they don’t respect or value themselves. <br>
I’m not saying this because I think people think this about me, I’m saying this for my old self who would think that about other girls or even my current self. <br>
If you think less clothing = less respect, take a step back and think about why you believe in that. <br>
If you think a post like this is an excuse for me to post pictures of my body, take a step back and think about why you believe in that. <br>
Does it ever resonate with you that maybe someone being proud of their achievements, their hard work, their progress is a sign that they do respect themselves? That taking steps to change what they don’t feel secure about is a respectable choice to make? That sharing their journey takes a level of confidence that may have only been gained through acceptance of themselves?<br>
I sat on this post for four months and only now am I willing to accept it. So before judgment is passed, please consider my reasons, respect my journey and learn with me. <br>
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Outfit – Bra/Nike Leggings/Nike Hoodie/Nike Trainers/Nike
suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-8549176685899541782017-01-13T05:33:00.001-08:002017-01-16T00:19:36.289-08:00Thinking outside the box.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwt1CPEQjNri7w5ZFcfW9k3Zyi8yyHGgtxzAVhkmPdgq81GW4zKCos7sieCdm975rbwnfsoUHK_LiiU2eZBCV5YpXIkZI9p9Ok_wgrG-OvIk1I71m74SmDWh_fUtLLdcabZhfn01r5hu0/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwt1CPEQjNri7w5ZFcfW9k3Zyi8yyHGgtxzAVhkmPdgq81GW4zKCos7sieCdm975rbwnfsoUHK_LiiU2eZBCV5YpXIkZI9p9Ok_wgrG-OvIk1I71m74SmDWh_fUtLLdcabZhfn01r5hu0/s1600/1A.jpg" /></a></div>
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Thinking outside the box. <br>
A phrase we have heard one too many times before, a phrase I actually find ridiculously frustrating to apply when told to do so. I only think outside the box unconsciously, I only experiment when I’m completely in tune with what I am doing, because when I’m fully focused I don’t even have the capacity to think of limitations or boxes. <br>
I swear by the philosophy of not to overthink things; the unnecessary stress is not needed!
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Change your environment. <br>
If you have a list of goals in mind make sure your environment is set up to encourage you, make it work for you not against you. A surrounding should positively contribute to motivating you, by removing distractions the temptation to waste time is reduced. So it could be something as small as decluttering, organising your area, introducing more sunlight into the room or even moving your workouts from indoors to outdoors, whatever the factors may be pinpoint them and address them. Don’t fall into the trap of using them as excuses that hold you back. <br>
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Practice being open-minded. <br>
With the state of the world and the ever changing opinions around us, being open minded is needed more now than ever. Being prejudice doesn’t work, it doesn’t make the world go round; acceptance, empathy and love does. If you want to stimulate new ideas and think outside the box you must allow for a different way of thinking to flow. Address things you could have overlooked, consider other points of views, experiment with your process and keep in mind that mistakes are simply re-routes. Don’t be afraid to fail, embrace the changes these setbacks create and try again. A defeated attitude doesn’t get very far, a curious, determined and creative one will surely stumble upon something new, that’s the magic of serendipity! <br>
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When the going gets tough the tough get going. <br>
Wait, what? What does that even mean? I was just feeling fancy so I’ll keep that heading. But my last point is based on our perception of tough times. <br>
Do you ever recall saying ‘I can’t do this, I can’t carry on, life’s over, woe is me’ or something along those lines? Well I’d like to congratulate you 1) for being alive 2) actually reading this far down. *I truly appreciate it* <br>
My point from babbling is that tough times do not last. Nothing worth having happens overnight. Everything is work in progress, if you feel defeated it’s very unsettling, so for that reason continue to push your boundaries, carry on experimenting, of course naturally you will encounter some setbacks but resolve and work through those trials and tribulations. This is life! <br>
These are minor glitches in the grand scheme of things, what determines our success is our attitude towards the mini ‘failures’ Outwork them, outgrow them and change those weaknesses into strengths! <br>
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Firstly Happy New Year! Everyone likes to jump on the resolution bandwagon but here’s a couple of things I think we should definitely drop for 2017.
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Thinking the grass is greener on the other side. <br>
The idea of being envious of someone on the ‘other side’ is a dead end mentality, surely if you are busy looking at others doesn’t the same apply to them? The notion of not being grateful for what we have and constantly looking over at others is draining and can leave one feeling bitterly dissatisfied with life. <br>
Instead of following this old saying, flip it on its head with the mentality that ‘the grass is greener where you water it!’ <br>
Falling into the trap of resenting others for their successes is a poisonous attitude to have and should be dropped immediately. Obviously with the rise of social media platforms it is a little distracting to not feel this way. This is because we all post the bests bits online, what I share on my Instagram is a collection of my highlights, the sugar coated moments of my life. <br>
I only post about 2% of my daily activities online so don’t be fooled into thinking this life I share with you is perfect, I have down days too I just choose to not show them online. <br>
The antidote to this green grass mentality is to focus and discipline your mind on your own business, own health and own successes, by doing so you eliminate room for envy on others and enjoy the fruits of your hard labour. Stop comparing yourself to others, only look back to see how far you have come and improved. <br>
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Self-pity, the world owes you nothing! <br>
Feeling sorry for yourself is draining, it’s a common reaction to stressful events. In helpless times the easiest way out is to feel sorry for yourself. This attitude doesn’t help overcome the problem at hand, it simply wastes time; time that could be spent trying to find resolutions to issues. <br>
When willowing in self-pity we expect others to notice our hardships and sympathise with us. The trap here is feeling a sense of entitlement, the idea that other people owe it to you to help get you out of a rut. <br>
The brutal truth is they won’t. Everyone has their own drama to deal with, whether they choose to show it or not. <br>
No one can adjust your attitude for you, no one can make you feel better. Your happiness is your responsibility, do not play the victim. If other people cannot help you, help yourself because the world owes you nothing. Switching to this attitude along with practising gratitude will make you miles more happier and in charge of your emotions. <br>
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No one controls you. <br>
The feeling of not having control in your life because of someone else or a situation is a spin off emotion from self-pity, also a decoy into passing the responsibility and blame to someone else. <br>
There is always a solution to every problem. Feeling trapped or controlled is detrimental to your progress and growth. No matter how hard you try, you won’t be able to achieve certain goals due to this mental cap. <br>
Only you can chose the way you feel and decide what you focus on. This life is what we make it, we have the capability to be happy, carefree or stressed and depressed. The choice is ours, both ends of the spectrum require energy, it’s up to us where we focus it. <br>
The discipline on what to focus on comes from within. One quote I found online and stuck with me was; ‘A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity, an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty.’ <br>
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It’s slow progress and hard to kill old habits but I’ve been practising the above for the past three years and it’s lead to a much more confident, happier and grateful Mitika, hope it helps you the same way.
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Outfit - Top/Bershka Earrings/KateSpade Choker/DIYsuritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-100706335817355502016-12-21T07:22:00.002-08:002016-12-21T07:22:11.030-08:00How to eliminate negative people for your wellbeing<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5X36-kYy7ZNxGxX9MpHYC8F8aY3hskZ5ejpyJuXb3XmVW8Q1bBc-qKpTy8lE5rtmneBRuPUSiWSoUg-VbFMURxpa3N4Kw6J4YRvaW3df_MKsrK80vEhXb2En0zagCE2sxPt1YHCzLvp0/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg5X36-kYy7ZNxGxX9MpHYC8F8aY3hskZ5ejpyJuXb3XmVW8Q1bBc-qKpTy8lE5rtmneBRuPUSiWSoUg-VbFMURxpa3N4Kw6J4YRvaW3df_MKsrK80vEhXb2En0zagCE2sxPt1YHCzLvp0/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></div>
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I think many of us at one point in our lifetime have been in a situation where we feel the people around us are doing more bad to our personal growth then good.
No matter how positive , upbeat or happy I am, mixing with toxic people effect my psyche. I know toxic is a harsh word, but I have no other means to describe this type of person. No matter how whole and confident I feel it’s hard to not let others get the best of my emotions. These negative relationships rob me of my potential, make me miserable and ruin my state of mind. <BR>
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Know what you are worth<BR>
The first step to eliminating them from your life is to acknowledge you deserve better. Having a sense of self-worth means respecting yourself enough to know what is best for you. <br>
Life is too short to waste your time and devote energy to people who don’t lift you up. Be selective and chose to have positive, encouraging and inspirational people in your life. People you can build and grow with are contagious. <BR>
After all they do say the people we surround ourselves with are a reflection of who we are, they are influential to our mannerisms, mental and physical health.
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No one said it was easy <BR>
It’s tricky when you are stuck under a social pressure to be around people you don’t want to be with. The idea of being ‘in’ with a certain group of people does not have to work for everyone. Trust me I know, I’m an introvert. <br>
Smile. Head down. Get the job done. Get out. Go home. This has been my motto from day one. I’ve never been a social butterfly, I keep myself to myself and I like it that way. <BR>
I don’t flourish in large groups, I thrive with ‘one on ones’ connecting with people on a more personal level is what I crave. <br>
Know that is it okay to not feel comfortable in a group situation. Previously I would put aside my uncertainties and stay around toxic people thinking it could change my frame of mind and I could adjust to being in these situations. <br>
I learnt the hard way and I need you to know, you CANNOT control other people’s actions around you. You are the master of your own world and if their psyche doesn’t mirror yours, the best thing you can do is remove yourself from the situation. <br>
Do not invest your energy in trying to fit in when you don’t. <br> Granted, removing yourself entirely is hard, very hard but in the long run it’s what is best for you.
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Pinpoint the people <br>
When you think about it, human interaction is what we all live for. So it’s key to make sure you identify who is stopping your happiness and growth. <br>
We spend half our lives at work, our co-workers have the power to alter all our life relationships. For instance if my boss were to ruin my day towards home time, I would take that negativity and stress offloading it onto Gurps in turn stressing him out and ruining our personal relationship. <br>
Family are a huge part of our lives, sometimes we have a black sheep in the gang that always has negative comments, or a gossip tendency which is not necessary, it can be stressful to be around and in the long run will most likely end up causing unwanted drama. <br>
Friends, friends, friends, we all have them, large groups or small groups, these are the people we generally have all the ‘fun’ with. In the right group it's endless laughter, banter and good times. Fall into the wrong one and your securities can flip into insecurities, your confidence can hit rock bottom and you’re left feeling trapped and sometimes lonely. Ironic to feel that when you’re surrounded by people. <br>
Partners, you wake up with them, you go to sleep with them, you eat with them, every spare second you have they’re at the top of your list to contact. Your partner ends up being your everything. It is so crucial in life to know your self worth and find a partner who uplifts, cherishes and makes you the happiest you can be. <br>
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Identify that any of the above options could be toxic to you. It is unfortunate to have toxicity in those groups as a large portion of our lives is spent with them but it is so important for you to be able to pinpoint who is negative to your growth.
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The next step <br>
Never forget the power of happiness is in your hands, you are in control of your life. You do not need to feel sad, guilty or ashamed to eliminate people from your life if they are doing no good for you. <br>
If its work related, communicate with your boss your issues, try moving departments or even try looking for a new job, a fresh start will help you overcome work related stresses. <br>
Family issues are unfortunate, this category is usually our support system, but you have to be able to draw a line at to what you are and are not willing to tolerate. Communicate with the individual what they are doing, how it makes you feel and tell them where you want to go from there. If you want to stop speaking that’s your right to say and do so. Tell them exactly how you feel and what your boundaries are and they should respect that enough to leave you alone or no longer effect you negatively. <br>
Friends, with the up rise of social media this one is extremely tricky to cut out. You have the option to unfollow toxic people on every platform, you can avoid social gatherings, lessen your interaction with these people and by focusing on yourself your will create a path that will rarely or ideally wont cross at all with toxic social groups ever again. <br>
Partners, your significant other is someone who you can say anything to. If you feel there is room for improvement and change communicate this across to them and work together on a happier future. If not set your boundaries, know your self-worth and move on. Delete numbers, avoid texting and cut off all channels of communication.
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It doesn’t matter who it is. If someone violates your standards, principles and values in life, they don’t deserve your energy. <br>
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Is it worth your energy? <br>
Sometimes we find it hard to let go of certain relationships. If a part of you is hesitant to cut people off indefinitely try communicating with them. Explain to them what you are feeling, how their actions are effecting you and what you want from the relationship. <br>
As difficult as it may be to have that type of conversation, it brings you one step closer to resolving the issue of toxicity. <br>
If the person in question acknowledges what you are saying they may change their ways because they love and care for you and will make sure their actions don’t upset you in the future. <br>
Sadly, if someone has hurt you to the point where you need to tell them what they are doing is wrong the likelihood is they don’t care and wont accommodate to your feelings. No one can be that blinded by their actions, deep down we all know if we are upsetting someone. Human kindness doesn’t cost a thing, if anything I personally feel showing kindness is rewarding <br>
With life experiences we develop the knack of judging character. The best way I feel is to assess who is valuable to your future and who isn’t. I don’t mean use people to get further in life, but choose people who offer the same energy you naturally exert. <br>
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The silver lining <br>
I feel like cutting people off can make you vulnerable to an extent; after all work, family, friends and partners are what make our life whole. It feels alien to not have them categories complete. It can also leave you feeling vulnerable and anxious as to how you will be able to function without them. <BR>
Self-belief and I know I’ve mentioned it a couple of times but knowing your self-worth is so crucial when you are going through the stages of eliminating toxic people. Be confident enough to know when to draw a line, be confident enough to know when to call it quits and move on to focus on yourself. Work towards being a better you, practice kindness to others even if it has not been shown to you, do not let past experiences make you a bitter person. There are so many loving individuals out there who will help build you up not break you down. <br>
It may hurt now but the silver lining is you have invested in your future happiness. It will be worth it, trust me. <br>
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Outfit – Top/MissSelfridge Jeans/RiverIsland Jacket/Zara FurScarf/Zara Boots/Zara
suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-36390524900478275102016-11-30T15:26:00.002-08:002016-12-01T06:10:55.366-08:00Things that make me feel good. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiij84T4jWYHC917qC8IU-RJxFj_zCckX1yXmG8KPZyyWyDtO_qlpvDnYvmW1n2_6FGryE0kX-1WtUw4cwUrr1XZUF3H6LJEyBbMb_vn3rbnKnVXMJu2CQZJ9PnjAlMAuB7D5S6BWA44Mc/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiij84T4jWYHC917qC8IU-RJxFj_zCckX1yXmG8KPZyyWyDtO_qlpvDnYvmW1n2_6FGryE0kX-1WtUw4cwUrr1XZUF3H6LJEyBbMb_vn3rbnKnVXMJu2CQZJ9PnjAlMAuB7D5S6BWA44Mc/s1600/1A.jpg" /></a></div>
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I’ve been umming and ahhhing about what to write for this post and after putting together the final images last night I felt a sense of achievement. Mainly because usually after the type of day I had I would crash out on the sofa and waste a couple of hours in the evening fighting over a faux fur blanket with Gurpreet while we catch up on sitcoms and series. <br>
I’m smiling while looking at these pictures because I’m happy with how far I’ve come, mentally and physically. I’m at a stage in life where my actions are keeping me happy, not only is this feeling evident in my day to day activities, my general wellbeing has improved tenfold. <br>
It’s common knowledge to many of us what keeps us happy but I find writing here so therapeutic I’m going to share with you what it is that makes me feel good. <br>
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1) Self-love <br>
I live by the mantra ‘Let it be’ there are so many things that happen to us daily which are not within our control and over time I have learnt to not let them get me down, feel anxious about or even upset, I simply remind myself of the path I am going down and to focus on my own goals. Unfortunately there will always be spiteful people out there that get you down, love and respect yourself enough to eliminate them from your life. <BR>
The minute you surround yourself with people who cherish you for who you are, you naturally start treating yourself better. And by not focusing on the negative your energy is then shifted to completing goals and moving forward with life. When you love yourself what others think and how they act become irrelevant to your life.
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2) Maintenance <br>
I love myself by respecting my mind and body. Every day I exercise, I eat healthy and practise gratitude wherever possible. I’ve noticed when I don’t follow through with these my moods alter and become erratic. The negative energy has such a knock on effect to so many things in life so I find it is key for me to make sure my eating habits are clean. <br>
Eating unhealthy leads to tiredness, which means I’ll skip the gym, then I start feeling like a little fatty, which means I don’t feel like dressing up, that leads to me feeling yucky and my skin starts to show it and then when I look in the mirror I feel crappy, all of this turns me in to a sour faced Mitika. <br>
Whereas when I eat well, I am motivated to exercise; after having a successful workout I am more inclined to spend extra time on my appearance; if I feel like I look good I’m more confident and determined to achieve my goals. I’m sure you get my drift but it’s so easy to snowball either way. <br>
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3) Spreading love <br>
Have you ever told anyone but your partner you love them? I have, I whisper it to my dog every other 5 minutes :) but jokes aside, a saying I've popped up in conversations lately is 'communication is key' I strongly believe relationships fall to pots because of lack of communication. I am open with those close to me and express my feelings clearly towards them, if I miss them I let them know, if I love them I let them know, if they mean anything to me I let them know. The point I'm making is, if you realise you have people you cherish in life let them know this. Just by sending my love to my sisters I feel better, loving others is very rewarding and knowing you have said everything on your mind when you had the chance is the best feeling. <BR>
I don't like the idea of waking up tomorrow wishing I should have let someone know what they meant to me when I had the opportunity. This life is too short for those regrets, love freely : ) <br>
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4) Something new <br>
Something new doesn't have to be in the form of a new bag or new shoes, new to me is a different experience to what I'm used to. Theres a little part of me that gets so excited from experiencing 'new' things, this weekend we will be visiting The London Illustration fair which I cant wait to see, last weekend we had a change of scenery and dinned in GBK. It was lovely but I'm not going back anytime soon, even though I enjoyed the meal £35 for two burgers and milkshakes gave me a heart attack, maybe I'll go again when I become a millionaire, HA! <br>
I look forward to experiencing new as it gives me a buzz and don't get me wrong I'm still a sucker for good old retail therapy but thats on hold as the wardrobe isn't closing very well at the moment (it's a sign to stop shopping!) <br>
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5) Music <br>
I am so thankful to be able to listen to music, it has this magical quality that can take you away from any type of feeling and switch your mood instantly. That sounded a bit cheesy right?! Well try sitting a day or two without sound and then read that line again, it's something we are so used to and programmed to be around we don't realise how much it can impact our moods. I find music so therapeutic I have a trillion different playlists that are like the soundtracks to my life, one for mornings, train journeys, gym time, even right now I have one playing in the background so I can concentrate on writing. I love the emotion music brings out in people and the passion it shows, it for sure is a big part of what makes me feel good. <br>
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6) My dog <br>
I used to dream of having a pet when I was young, luckily 6 years ago my brother came home with a little bichon fris and maltese mix. We named him Jambu (after an Indian sweet dish) He is literally the light to my life, I love everything about him, his innocence and character make me SO happy. No matter what mood I'm in his enthusiasm to greet me remains the same, he is always so loving, playful and embodies this skill to be excited about literally EVERYTHING. Sometimes you can feel like humans fail you and that leaves you feeling a little low, In those types of situations Jambu has never failed to put a smile on my face. Animals are such wonderful creatures, my love for him is a big reason for why I chose to turn vegetarian 3 years ago and over the past couple of months I have been refining my diet to be Vegan, I want no part of causing harm to these wonderful creatures : ) I love all animals and they make me so happy. <br>
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7) My hobby <br>
My art and this blog are my outlets for expressing myself. I absolutely love sitting down with pen and paper to sketch, I love drawing fashion, models, garments and designing new things. I feel a great sense of accomplishment when I make something out of nothing. Everyone has a hobby or something they are passionate about, whatever it may be I would recommend exploring the avenues that lead to expression through it. It's never too late to take a course or learn more about it. I think we all need a slice of happiness that isn't linked to work stresses. A hobby doesn't have to generate money, if it does that is a bonus, but I think when someone is passionate about something it can be an escape route; when they are stressed they can dive into what they love doing and its almost like a free therapy session. <br>
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8) Writing <br>
When I think about it, this list could go on forever, there are so many things that keep me happy but if I had to pinpoint it to a handful this would be it. I am so happy I changed the style of this blog and started to open up a bit more, I find writing so therapeutic and love getting my thoughts out, whats even more rewarding is my thoughts go hand in hand with yours, its so nice for me to connect with people that read this and on days I feel like don't fit in, I can remind myself of the online family I have created through this site : ) <br>
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Outfit - Cami/Mango Skirt/Handmade Choker/MissSelfridges Earrings/KateSpadesuritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-81026584047678372212016-11-23T04:24:00.001-08:002016-11-23T06:05:38.229-08:00How I avoid disappointment in a relationship<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0kSDTfsyiR-W0Ns_UmyRX3yh7YYvjAq9pzeRLjqwzrJAO2YXbQbAnv-5mGWr5Tw7dJD4oGXyC0JPhEg-1Ujxr7OIARjCkvDiB35WGz08IS9v4i7oCLntZgpjE0SEzlFCI_yG3ObkXJo/s1600/1A.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiw0kSDTfsyiR-W0Ns_UmyRX3yh7YYvjAq9pzeRLjqwzrJAO2YXbQbAnv-5mGWr5Tw7dJD4oGXyC0JPhEg-1Ujxr7OIARjCkvDiB35WGz08IS9v4i7oCLntZgpjE0SEzlFCI_yG3ObkXJo/s1600/1A.jpg" /></a></div>
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The other week I had a conversation that sparked the topic of expectations and disappointments. A comment was made where my friend believed finding another half could complete him and make him happy again after recently ending a relationship that turned sour. From my experience with love and happiness I whole heartedly disagree with this. I think that thought is almost a dead end road and is sure to lead to disappointment. I have been lucky enough to find companionship in Gurps since the age of 16, our relationship feels effortless and he enriches my life in many ways. With that in mind, I don’t believe he completes me.
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I suppose what I am trying to say is, even though he has been the focal point of my life for the last 11 years, my happiness is not in his hands or anyone else’s. The responsibility for my heart and happiness is in MY hands, it is not fair to him for me to pin my happiness on him. <br>
It’s a nice thought to think someone completes you, but by thinking this way we are expecting them to do so. That level of expectation could result in disappointment. If I expect Gurps to shower me with goodies, cook me dinner and treat me like a princess with the mind-set that the result of these actions will keep me happy, I’ll be massively disappointed if he doesn’t follow through with any of them. So not only would I be disappointed in him, I’d also stress him out for not doing them resulting in some sort of argument and both parties being unhappy. <br>
I think it’s good to go into a relationship as whole as you can be, if you are happy with your way of life, you will in-turn rub off that energy to others. If you feel incomplete you are continually expecting someone else to do something for you. Two happy people are unstoppable right? Two individuals searching for something else as well as love already have a set back because their expectations are too high. If you feel different let me know, its always good to see someone else’s spin on this topic. <br>
I think the approach of having no expectations allows us to remove the opportunity to blame someone else. Like I mentioned in my <a href="http://suritimestwo.blogspot.co.uk/2016/11/how-i-stay-motivated.html">motivation post</a>, I believe if you eliminate room for excuses and stop playing the blame game by taking responsibility for your life the more successful your relationships will be.
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I’m not saying Gurps doesn’t do those things, sure he buys me gifts and cooks a dinner or two; He does them, but the key is he is doing them because HE wants to, not because I expect him to do them. <br>
I think relationships work a million times better when we put controlling egos aside and let each other be who we are. When you care for someone, unconsciously your actions make the other person happy. So the key to any relationship be it with friends or lovers is to be yourself, the people that click with you and work with your personality naturally stay. Anyone that demands more energy then you are willing to give isn’t meant for you.
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So I’ve come to the conclusion that I myself am very happy as an individual, I feel whole and complete. Having Gurps by my side is like the cherry on top, he makes everything much sweeter. Obviously these are just opinions and I’d love to hear your take on relationships and whether or not you think a partners complete one another.
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Outfit - Bralette/<a href="http://www.urbanoutfitters.com/uk/catalog/productdetail.jsp?id=5741472102660&category=WOMENS-BRAS-EU">UrbanOutfitters</a> Top/<a href="http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/woman/clothing/t-shirts/long-sleeve/draped-neckline-t-shirt?id=73007612_99&n=1&s=prendas.tops">Mango</a> Jacket/<a href="http://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/outerwear/biker-jacket-c269183p3678607.html">Zara(old similar)</a> Scarf/<a href="http://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/accessories/view-all/faux-fur-snood-c733915p3649541.html">Zara(detached from a coat/similar here</a>)Hat/<a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/en_UK/Accessories/Women%27s/Hats%2C-scarves-%26-gloves/c/313">Aldo(old)</a> Jeans/RiverIsland Boots/<a href="http://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/shoes/view-all/lace-up-high-heel-ankle-boots-c734142p3612350.html">Zara</a> Rings/<a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/en_UK/Accessories/Women%27s/Rings/c/316/Premosello/p/46540010-72">Aldo</a>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-14320426868815111132016-11-09T14:03:00.000-08:002016-11-15T06:00:08.368-08:00My 5 blogging mantra's<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqQ5v6TH3EbTXVWV_WmTGeiSmxIyzDPNCt_RjZ_2qPhD24Klaw0WdVBEA33ZzZJkmfdZglFsTLreXhEb6e5vcc4dsbSZFMZCIB-xbJ6de9eLUUNS0IN3SnB3jHel-zwzDzYbZUM2ocyOI/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgqQ5v6TH3EbTXVWV_WmTGeiSmxIyzDPNCt_RjZ_2qPhD24Klaw0WdVBEA33ZzZJkmfdZglFsTLreXhEb6e5vcc4dsbSZFMZCIB-xbJ6de9eLUUNS0IN3SnB3jHel-zwzDzYbZUM2ocyOI/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></div>
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When I first started this blog I went into it with a happy go lucky attitude, I had no intentions of bringing it as far as its come. I figured it was a lovely way to document our activities/holidays and created a wonderful archive for us to look back on. For anyone I speak to or for any of you considering starting a blog but feel slightly hesitant, I whole heartedly encourage you to put the fear aside and DO IT! <br>
I cannot express the satisfaction I feel from keeping this creative flow going. Two years into it and I think I've finally coined what it is that makes you feel like your blog has a place in this heavily populated industry. <br>
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Fake it till you make it <br>
Now in all honesty I think we are all just as lost as one-another to an extent, some of us have a cool as a cucumber exterior and attitude which helps hide the confusion. The trick I suppose is to act like you know whats going on, even if you don't. Practise the art of talking with conviction, be knowledgeable about your topics of choice and explore them till you can discuss them in a way that can add value to someone's train of thought. <br>
After all if you are writing to appeal to people, you have to convince them you are worth their time, no one has interest in following anything short of mediocre.
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Show progress <br>
I love to find a new blog or creative individual online, in my spare time I tend to follow all their social media platforms and practically stalk them from their first post to latest video log. I love that excitement of finding an individual I feel I can connect to. It's amazing to see a blogger improve with their images, or create even more visually exciting videos for YouTube. I find it inspiring to see their progression from where they first started.<br>
But progress is only visible if you make a start now! Don't wait for the perfect marble backdrop or that crazy high mega pixel camera, make do with what you have to get to where you want.
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Overthinking = Mind blown <br>
This is actually one of my mantra's with any project I take on. If you try to overthink the situation then the passion isn't fluently translated and it ends up becoming more stressful for you and less appealing for the audience. In terms of blogging, I would advise you to not overthink posing, outfit coordination, backdrops, brand placements, make up and hair; all these factors should flow organically. <br>
The more comfortable you are, the less thinking you have to do to create something from your passion. It's so joyful to see someone blossom effortlessly when they are working based on natural a thought process. <br>
This concept doesn't solely apply to the fashion industry, it can relate to art, cooking, gardening and general life situations even; if you are passionate enough about what you are doing you will naturally avoid overthinking, allowing ideas to flow, everything will be more organic and stress free. That's when the best work is produced.
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Knowing your USP <br>
Every business has a unique selling point, every individual has one too. It's basically a play on your strengths. <br>
In terms of this blog I originally thought it would become successful if I continually shot the latest items of clothing, the seasons most wanted coat or on-trend shoes. I thought the material item aspect would be my USP. <br>
I quickly found out the hard way that this wasn't the case, for two main reasons; there are a million other girls out there doing the same thing (with even more coveted items then I had) and secondly it was either focus on a mortgage or have a fancy wardrobe. I didn't have the luxury of an income to cover both, so the blog suffered. <br>
For those whom have followed me from day one when I named the blog 'Mitika's Illustrations' will have noticed the inconstancy with blog posts and an apparent gap with our online presence. This was due to us having higher priorities over the blog. <br>
The lack of creative activity would get me down, I would be itching to shoot something or whip up a styling concept. I wanted to make something of this blog even though I couldn't afford new items for my wardrobe so I started to shoot looks I already had in my cupboard. <br>
This meant my readership reduced because the items I shot were old season, so if a viewer liked a certain look they had no way of recreating it because the garments weren't available in stores, it also blew out opportunities to work with brands because no-one needed help advertising old stock. <br>
But my drive and passion for this site took over and I carried on shooting and styling concepts without the financial benefits, without the larger readership, without the latest fashions, I literally made do with what I had. <br>
It was the creative outcomes from our shoots that kept me motivated to post more content. Fast forward to November 2016, I am so happy to finally be back in my zone, my USP is not the latest fashions. My USP is I'm just like you, I'm figuring this whole thing out with you by my side and developing a sense of who I am along the way.
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Believe in yourself <br>
For a blogger I think that is their USP, believe in the character you are. Over the past two years my physical appearance has changed, my mental wellbeing has improved and overall I feel like a better human being then when I was in my mid 20's. This development came through challenges that helped me find out who I really am. I was in situations that stretched my emotions or even challenged my health and forced me to step out of my comfort zone to grow. <br>
And now as we come to the end of 2016 I am confident mentally and physically, sure of my style and feel well presented on a daily basis. <br>
I think this has all been achievable because I no longer feel the need to validate who I am to anyone. I can be true to myself and know that people will accept me for that. This sense of knowing who I am helps me relate to many of you and the satisfaction of making friends / creating relationships through this blog is the feeling I love. So thank you to those whom have interacted with me throughout my journey, you help me define my purpose through my passions and are one of the main reasons I continue with this blog.
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Outfit - Dress/<a href="https://www.prettylittlething.com/alyssia-black-twist-front-maxi-shirt-dress.html">PrettyLittleThing</a> Chocker/<a href="http://www.missselfridge.com/en/msuk/category/accessories-299050/chokers-5561979/N-1yacZ8vx?No=0&Nrpp=20&siteId=%2F12554">MissSelfridges</a> Rings/<a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/en_UK/Accessories/Women%27s/Rings/c/316/Premosello/p/46540010-72">Aldo</a>
<div id="NjU1NDA5Nw=="><a href="https://activate.bloglovin.com/profile/6554097"><img src="https://activate.bloglovin.com/common/images/badge1.png" width="200" height="92"/></a></div>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-63814649476000942712016-11-05T03:53:00.000-07:002016-11-05T04:11:28.265-07:00How I stay motivated. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw7OmCpIsc70Fb_MQDWlxz6Hb-83aLeAb7mbrIuKH2AGX2mwZcGWHG2VAwDM5b6pj1MElHGwxO5m3yidq888blYS1EIe369tCnUIXor4CfNiKcpnUAoKahoBazUSS7Fyw44C0aQ34dTPc/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgw7OmCpIsc70Fb_MQDWlxz6Hb-83aLeAb7mbrIuKH2AGX2mwZcGWHG2VAwDM5b6pj1MElHGwxO5m3yidq888blYS1EIe369tCnUIXor4CfNiKcpnUAoKahoBazUSS7Fyw44C0aQ34dTPc/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></div>
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With the end of year just around the corner I start to think about all those resolutions I made in January, I dropped a couple but kept a handful of them going and I can happily say they have finally become embedded into my lifestyle habits. I have a couple of tips that I use as a guideline and maybe they could help you out too. I genuinely feel like these are points we are all well aware of, what I’ve typed below isn’t revolutionary, it’s just sometimes we need to refresh our minds with points that help push us back in the right direction.
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1) Start now. <br>
Don’t wait for New Years to make a resolution, don’t wait for Monday even, start now. Make a start on your goal because time won’t wait for you to do so, before you know it we will be sitting here in November 2017 discussing the same thing! <br>
I was so hesitant to start writing on these topics for the blog, I kept telling myself my english wasn't good enough, my writing style is too waffely and realistically who wants to read my thoughts? But with the feedback I received from my last post I'm so happy to know some of you actually feel the same and could relate to me. In turn that motivated me to really get going with this writing malarky and open up to you. So I'm sure glad I made a start on it, otherwise I'd still be sitting here thinking, what if?
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2) No excuses. <br>
If you keep hesitating to start working towards your goals try to identify what the defining factor stalling you is. Whatever it may be, it is an excuse. Excuses are a dead end road, they don’t really justify your actions they sugar-coat your actions making you believe its okay to not complete your goals. <br>
Also adopt the mind-set that blaming others for your actions is unacceptable. Take responsibility for your own actions and refuse to blame anyone else. Sure there might be conditions beyond your control that are affecting your progress but instead of blaming someone else take action over how you decide to react to the situation. By taking responsibility you will be reacting in a manner that will benefit your future self not set you back.
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3) Eat right. <br>
Over time I have managed to clean up my diet by eliminating readymade meals, processed food and the heavy fatty meals. I cut out artificial sugars too (well nearly, I’m still partial to the odd Ferrero Rocher flying around during festive season) I find these sugars give me a temporary high and the comedown leaves me feeling ten times worse than how I started. The reason for this diet change was not to lose weight but to fuel my body with food I can benefit from, when I eat a clean healthy meal my energy levels are sky high, my body feels ready for whatever I put it through and my thought processes are so much more fluid. I’m less stressed when I eat well, mentally and physically feel better and have more energy to overcome any issues I face when working towards my goal.
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4) Drink water. <br>
If I had a pound for every time someone told me to drink water I’d be sitting pretty on a mountain of fortunes. I used to roll my eyes at this statement so much. I hated drinking water, I never felt like I needed it. I don’t know if I hit the 2 Litre mark daily but I know I drink more than enough to keep myself hydrated. Hydration is key, KEY KEY KEY! (feeling like Dj Khaled here) When you pass up on the glass of water think about it this way, ‘I want to look like a grape not a raisin’ <br>
75% of our brain is water, why deprive our bodies from functioning at full capacity when it’s something as easy as drinking a glass every other hour? We water our plants to help them grow and flourish, why not adopt the same attitude towards our own bodies?
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5) Sleep well. <br>
Hands down I am 100% diurnal, I rise with the sun and clock out when it goes down. I try to sleep at least 6-7 hours every night. I’ve never been one of those night owls that becomes all productive and efficient at sundown. Although this nocturnal method works for so many people I know, the key here is finding which pattern best suits your lifestyle. <br>
This is how I have been for as long as I can remember, even if I have guests around I tend to fall asleep talking on the couch or if we go to the cinema late at night I can guarantee I’ll be snoring away in the background. Having a consistent sleeping pattern allows me to function well during the day, I’m much more productive and can focus clearly on my goals. <br>
And in all honesty if I feel sleep deprived I can guarantee I will spend 85% of my day complaining about how tired I am! <br>
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6) Organise yourself. <br>
Those dreams you have, do you know how to plan to achieve them? Have you mapped out what it is you need to tick off the list to make them reality? Its fine if you don’t, let’s start now. Try to write down a plan of steps to get you there and remember to be realistic about your time constraints. I don’t know of anyone that pulled an all-nighter at university and was 100% satisfied with the end result. Cramming everything in last minute will not have the best results. It’s similar to a diet plan, eating lettuce for one lunch won’t make me thinner nor will 100sit ups give me a 6pack the next day. Everything worthwhile takes time, consistency and persistence. Organise your time wisely to give you the best chance at achieving your goals.
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7) Anticipate setbacks. <br>
I don’t mean to be the bearer of bad news but setbacks will happen. Nothing is ever straightforward and by that I mean the plan you made from Step 6 will most likely fail, but in order to succeed you have to remap your ideas and get back to it. Surely when you fell over in the playground when you were young you got back up right? What’s changed in our adult lives? We might not be ripping tights at our knees (this is something I did daily in Primary school, can anyone else relate or was it just me?!) but the concept is all the same. A setback does not define you, you are in charge of your life and your actions, your reaction to minor failures will determine your success.
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8) Don’t stop. <br>
Lastly not being where I want to be is the biggest push of all. Don’t let it get you down if you have not reached your goals yet, use that emotion as ammunition to keep going to do everything you can to get there.
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And please don’t think by me typing this I feel like I have my life sorted. I’ve only just about managed to pluck up the courage to start writing (or waffling not sure how you see it) on the blog about topics flying around in my head. So how I see it is, we’re in this together : )
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I only noticed when I looked for outfit links online, I’m actually wearing this jumper back to front, the wrap is supposed to be worn on the back. Ooops!
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Outfit – Jumper/<a href="http://shop.mango.com/GB/p0/woman/clothing/cardigans-and-sweaters/sweaters/crossover-sweater?id=73035604_37&n=1&s=prendas.cardigans">Mango</a> Skirt/Vintage Hat/<a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/en_UK">Aldo(old)</a> FurScarf/(Detached collar from a Zara coat)<a href="http://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/accessories/view-all/faux-fur-snood-c733915p3649541.html">(Similar item)</a> Boots/<a href="http://www.zara.com/uk/en/woman/shoes/view-all/lace-up-high-heel-ankle-boots-c734142p3612350.html">Zara</a> Rings/<a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/en_UK/Accessories/Women%27s/Rings/c/316/Premosello/p/46540010-72">Aldo</a>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-90282606442780366552016-11-01T08:01:00.000-07:002016-11-01T08:01:08.687-07:00Being comfortable in my own skin. <div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_8HJ6_2ZxUG8Kw5gddvWuSqaN31HyJZ12e-cSHrbOQ06m79co4QcUU8kzmaae1Pk2FdxVEqDm9A8TgAPtwIkp7viE8AeBpFEjetsvdbsN5wJFdYj5JpqZjyJIMwN-OR7B38jwVIX2diE/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh_8HJ6_2ZxUG8Kw5gddvWuSqaN31HyJZ12e-cSHrbOQ06m79co4QcUU8kzmaae1Pk2FdxVEqDm9A8TgAPtwIkp7viE8AeBpFEjetsvdbsN5wJFdYj5JpqZjyJIMwN-OR7B38jwVIX2diE/s1600/1.jpg" /></a></div>
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As of this post and blog revamp I have decided to change the information I'm uploading online. I want this blog to be a personal point of reference, also for my sisters and daughters. I want to keep this online diary as a message to remind myself to follow my dreams and stay true to what I believe, if you are reading with me then I'm more then happy to have your company : )
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The first topic I have decided to discuss is body confidence, obviously this is a widely talked about topic but I have a couple of points to share through my own experiences, which could ring true to a couple of you.
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Would you believe me if I told you I hated my figure growing up? Would you believe me when I say I wished I never had these hips / bum / legs? Until the age of 18 I was hell-bent on achieving a figure genetically impossible through fad diets and skipping meals. This was because I was drawn into the media portrayal of the 'ideal woman'. When I was growing up the celebrities on a pedestal were Pamela Anderson, Britney Spears, Jennifer Anniston and a handful of others but the issue that affected me the most was that I couldn't identify with any of these women therefor I felt inferior. <br>
I felt like my body shape, my curly hair, my skin colour and appearance overall wasn't considered pretty. No matter what makeup / clothes I wore, I would never look like them. <br>
When Jennifer Lopez came on the scene I was in love, a tanned beauty with a shapely body, hips and thighs, wow what an idol. I loved everything she embodied, her songs, her fashion and media presence. I think it is key for women to be able to identify with someone, they need to relate to the media, be it through their image/ culture / beliefs/ interests.
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Looking back what disappoints me the most is there was never a reassurance from anyone to make me believe, being myself was enough. The media power was effecting my self confidence and the exposure to it was unavoidable.
This was from growing up in the 80's, the current generation has a whole new level of media exposure with all these social outlets online. It can become quite damaging and poisonous to those who lack the confidence to think otherwise. <br>
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Here are a couple of points I will always teach my girls; you are beautiful as you are, you are more then enough being you, once you truly believe in that statement nothing can stop you. Practice self love and disregard what anyone say's or expect you to look like. Their expectations of beauty standards should not rule your reality. Embrace what you are born with because the magic of the story is, no one can be you, that is your one true strength.
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We have to celebrate our individual selves, there is too much negativity in the world and we need less of that. Beauty is everywhere and inside everyone, don't expect everyone to look like the girls in the magazines, heck the girls in the magazines don't even look like the girls in the magazines. I know we all have hang ups over parts of our bodies we would like to change and thats fine, but don't sit there and wish upon a star, take action to make those goals reality. Be healthy, be physically fit and in-turn your confidence will naturally be boosted.
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I made a conscious decision three years ago to join the gym and start exercising. From being the girl that always tried to skip P.E classes and escape the cross country runs its was revolutionary for me to voluntarily exercise, on top of that I felt the need to hire a personal trainer to guide me through my fitness journey. I committed to training three times a week. Physically I have not lost any weight I remain the same, if not a little heavier due to the fat to muscle conversion. But my strength and endurance have increased phenomenally, I mean I'm not the incredible hulk but I sure can lift a thing or two! <br>
Three years down the line I am still training at least three times a week mixing weight training and cardio activities. My body feels healthier, my mind feels refreshed and I'm much more able to handle day to day stresses with ease. I am happy to say I'm officially 100% comfortable in my own skin and I work towards achieving my version of 'ideal' daily. It's not easy but its worth it! <br>
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Outfit - Body/<a href="http://www.riverisland.com/women/tops/bodysuits/black-western-lace-bodysuit-692749">RiverIsland</a> Dustercoat/<a href="http://www.riverisland.com/women/coats--jackets/jackets/light-grey-satin-duster-jacket-693465">RiverIsland</a> Skirt/<a href="http://www.houseofcb.com/index.php?dispatch=products.view&product_id=2411¤cy=GBP&siteID=7bQKOhCX9X8-WHoqc58sNxwyoosIzvxcew">HouseofCB</a> Chocker/<a href="http://www.missselfridge.com/en/msuk/category/accessories-299050/chokers-5561979/N-1yacZ8vx?No=0&Nrpp=20&siteId=%2F12554">MissSelfridges</a> Rings/<a href="http://www.aldoshoes.com/uk/en_UK/Accessories/Women%27s/Rings/c/316/Premosello/p/46540010-72">Aldo</a>suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-4488404425264965302016-10-24T07:54:00.002-07:002016-10-24T07:54:42.465-07:00Last of the Summer sunsets<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDo2IO4uloHCE_ziwNl_bhKbr48_i6DinPh7FCV2Ms78OCYpMGZpAYHD6NgKTI8kkoYSQxz463eTh4H3V1CfJgql1CBmuuABxb3dqWcCB5K6GkR3HL6-oD9KCDIq8-C8-eF_sUX-tOHPM/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgDo2IO4uloHCE_ziwNl_bhKbr48_i6DinPh7FCV2Ms78OCYpMGZpAYHD6NgKTI8kkoYSQxz463eTh4H3V1CfJgql1CBmuuABxb3dqWcCB5K6GkR3HL6-oD9KCDIq8-C8-eF_sUX-tOHPM/s640/1.jpg" width="640" height="453" /></a></div>
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Outfit - Body/<a href="http://www.stradivarius.com/gb/clothing/bodies/bodysuit-with-lace-back-c1713502p7591543.html?categoryNav=1713502&colorId=001">Stradivarius</a> Shorts/<a href="http://www.bershka.com/gb/woman/new-collection/shorts/bsk-denim-shorts-c1010052087p100636063.html?colorId=400#/">Bershka</a> Bag/Mango(old) Earrings/KateSpade Necklaces/Forever21 suritimestwohttp://www.blogger.com/profile/01739316034524353069noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1107240960241657299.post-35801813565504279342016-10-10T04:15:00.001-07:002016-10-10T06:32:33.350-07:00Palm tree shadows<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglczmzCplNvT79d6HwS9kHT-4g7r0bjthYUGRPPdK1x-6Fq3-TB6BnRunUhraxLL08PT2sPJveM6ITTsRiY3JDb1TJU9LyEG0pPnVQH83sYz8zy-Bqic0PQTKiGw_VoYsGaVCxxJwXdhg/s1600/1.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEglczmzCplNvT79d6HwS9kHT-4g7r0bjthYUGRPPdK1x-6Fq3-TB6BnRunUhraxLL08PT2sPJveM6ITTsRiY3JDb1TJU9LyEG0pPnVQH83sYz8zy-Bqic0PQTKiGw_VoYsGaVCxxJwXdhg/s640/1.jpg" width="640" height="453" /></a></div>
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This is one of my last posts from our trip to Spain, we were heading out to a dim sum restaurant when I spotted the beautiful palm shadows falling on the white walls, I’m forever riding shotgun next to Gurps so I always have the privilege of staring out the window like a 3 year old strapped up in a car seat does. <br> The heat out there and abandonment of my straighteners gave my curls a much needed lease of life, the break from styling with artificial heat has helped them to stay together. (hurrah!) Although I’m not sure if it’s just me, but holidays are really for letting go. I love keeping things as natural as possible with my hair and skin. Less stressing about how I look and more stressing over what turning the satnav is telling us to go! <br>
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I know the leaves are falling and Autumn is here, but keep Summer alive and visit the Barbican conservatory. Its definitely an afternoon well spent.
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