Wednesday, 20 December 2017

Pregnancy emotions - the early months

To say pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions is an understatement, it’s a life change, its everything you thought you knew about yourself out the window. Your body changes without knowing it, it’s hard to mentally keep up. Your mind is between the now and the future. Its almost the biggest reality check I’ve ever had. The concept of time goes quicker than ever before.

Remain grateful to be in the position 
In the early months of pregnancy, I remember feeling down and frustrated with my bodies changes. I felt like everything was getting turned upside down for me, while the rest of the world kept spinning and seemed normal for everyone else.
I was losing the body I had worked so hard daily to achieve. My appetite for the little food I did like had gone out the window and unfortunately I suffered from severe morning sickness (Hyperemesis Grvidarum) and ended up being admitted into the hospital. So not only did I feel awful, I looked it most days too. Pregnancy glow?! Far from it, I only experienced that after passing the 5 month mark!
Throughout the initial stages of wishing I didn’t feel the way I did, I had to snap out of what I consider a ‘first world luxury slump’.
I was being over emotional; there are so many women in this world who would kill to fall pregnant as quick as I did, there are so many women in this world who would do anything to experience growing their child, there are so many women who struggle alone with all the symptoms I did.

As awful as I felt, I needed to remind myself, I had a family that cared, I had a support system to fall back on, I had the NHS to overlook all the complications, I had help.
It’s easy to fall into a dip when exhaustion and emotions are at an all time low, but the main thing is to remain as grateful as possible. There are girls in this world who dream of having my life on my worst days, who am I to stand here and complain.

Research – educate yourself
After I pulled myself out of the emotional slump, I decided to get clued on. What exactly is happening to my body, what are the side effects, what is to come. I needed to know. It would be foolish of me to have access to resources such as books and internet and not know what my body is about to undertake.
I’m a strong believer of educating yourself. Never wait for others to hold your hand and show you, get up and better yourself for no ones benefit other than your own. I needed to know everything so I can then be the healthiest / fittest possible for my child.
I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise the responsibility I had oF creating this little human.

I started off reading How to Grow a Baby and Push It Out by Clemmie Hoper. A nice little introduction to the world of pregnancy, with step by steps on what to expect each week in terms of changes to your body, the foetus development and explanations of all the blood tests / immunisations / labour procedures.
Confident about knowing my bits and bobs, I wanted to know more; I wanted to know what to anticipate closer to the babies’ arrival, so I read What to Expect the First Year Book by Heidi Murkoff. Now this book most definitely made me feel clued on, I had a clearer vision of what to expect and its in-depth explanations on all scenarios from breast feeding to dealing with guests was very helpful to read.

It’s just in my nature to read, I didn’t want to feel lost at any point so instead of feeling anxious about what was to come, I wanted to prepare myself the best way I knew how.

Communication is key.
I’m relatively level headed but during my pregnancy my emotions were on an insane rollercoaster that just kept getting faster.
But instead of stomping around and expecting Gurps / my boss / my family / friends to understand my moods I had to break it down every single day; How I felt emotionally and physically. I had to, because I was already in the unknown in terms of experiencing everything for the first time, I needed as much support I could get to carry on with a positive mental attitude. Being grateful was half of it, but the other half was needing physical support.
Pregnancy is draining, it honestly takes it out of your body. I considered myself fit before the pregnancy but I was shocked at how challenging I found it.
I was open with everyone and explained what I was struggling with and they were all accommodating and helped. If you don’t ask for help, no one will know. So don’t go through it alone, reach out.

Erase the millennial issue of f.o.m.o.
Having children doesn’t stop anything unless you let it. I had many one liners about ‘no more holidays’ too many in fact. But I don’t believe it.
You dictate how your life goes, if you want to travel with children you will make it happen. If you want to maintain a high social life with children you will make it happen, anything is possible.
I was willing to drop the f.o.m.o (Fear Of Missing Out) and focus all my energy on being pregnant and then preparing myself to be a mother.

Slow progress is better than no progress
Sometimes I feel like I talk sense but I have a bad habit of ignoring myself. I know what I need to do, I just don’t do it. By writing things down I remind myself of what I need to do, positivity, communication, forward thinking and bettering myself are still my main goals, some days I’m more productive than others; the main thing through the pregnancy was to keep going. Slow progress to being better each day is better than no progress.


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