How I avoid disappointment in a relationship

The other week I had a conversation that sparked the topic of expectations and disappointments. A comment was made where my friend believed finding another half could complete him and make him happy again after recently ending a relationship that turned sour. From my experience with love and happiness I whole heartedly disagree with this. I think that thought is almost a dead end road and is sure to lead to disappointment. I have been lucky enough to find companionship in Gurps since the age of 16, our relationship feels effortless and he enriches my life in many ways. With that in mind, I don’t believe he completes me.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, even though he has been the focal point of my life for the last 11 years, my happiness is not in his hands or anyone else’s. The responsibility for my heart and happiness is in MY hands, it is not fair to him for me to pin my happiness on him.
It’s a nice thought to think someone completes you, but by thinking this way we are expecting them to do so. That level of expectation could result in disappointment. If I expect Gurps to shower me with goodies, cook me dinner and treat me like a princess with the mind-set that the result of these actions will keep me happy, I’ll be massively disappointed if he doesn’t follow through with any of them. So not only would I be disappointed in him, I’d also stress him out for not doing them resulting in some sort of argument and both parties being unhappy.
I think it’s good to go into a relationship as whole as you can be, if you are happy with your way of life, you will in-turn rub off that energy to others. If you feel incomplete you are continually expecting someone else to do something for you. Two happy people are unstoppable right? Two individuals searching for something else as well as love already have a set back because their expectations are too high. If you feel different let me know, its always good to see someone else’s spin on this topic.
I think the approach of having no expectations allows us to remove the opportunity to blame someone else. Like I mentioned in my motivation post, I believe if you eliminate room for excuses and stop playing the blame game by taking responsibility for your life the more successful your relationships will be.

I’m not saying Gurps doesn’t do those things, sure he buys me gifts and cooks a dinner or two; He does them, but the key is he is doing them because HE wants to, not because I expect him to do them.
I think relationships work a million times better when we put controlling egos aside and let each other be who we are. When you care for someone, unconsciously your actions make the other person happy. So the key to any relationship be it with friends or lovers is to be yourself, the people that click with you and work with your personality naturally stay. Anyone that demands more energy then you are willing to give isn’t meant for you.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I myself am very happy as an individual, I feel whole and complete. Having Gurps by my side is like the cherry on top, he makes everything much sweeter. Obviously these are just opinions and I’d love to hear your take on relationships and whether or not you think a partners complete one another.

Outfit - Bralette/UrbanOutfitters Top/Mango Jacket/Zara(old similar) Scarf/Zara(detached from a coat/similar here)Hat/Aldo(old) Jeans/RiverIsland Boots/Zara Rings/Aldo

Carpark chronicles

Here’s a little something Natali Tari and I cooked up last weekend. You can never go wrong with a baggy shirt and jeans combo : )
This past week I’ve been busy inking away images from Men’s Fashion Week and Couture Week! If you click here you can see a handful of images I have uploaded to my illustration insta, there have definitely been a fair few highlights which I’ll share in an art post this week, but feel free to check it out. I also post odd bits and bobs on my Snapchat so you can see my creative process. (Snapchat name Mitika Suri)

Uniform

So on most my social media outlets I have been rambling about Gurpreet and I finally moving into our very own home. In between weddings, work and gym we have squeezed in furnishing the flat bit by bit. It’s still looking a little bare but while we wait for the big furniture to arrive, Natalie (my Croatian counterpart) and I decided to have some fun with the blank canvas.
This has been my uniform lately, I know a lot of people frown on ‘lounge style joggers’ worn out in public, but heck! They are too comfy to pass up on, esp with all the running around we have been doing.
As you can see I prioritised my books and organised them all nicely, I still have stacks to unpack but I cannot wait to get going with it all and finally move in! I’ll show you more once were settled in a bit more.

Photography - Natalie Tari
Outfit – Vest/RiverIsland Joggers/Bershka Rings/OttomanHands ,2 ,3 Earrings/OttomanHands Bangle/OttomanHands (similar)

No such thing as ready - only now

I visited Rome last month with Gurpreet, we had an amazing time and managed to soak up a bucket load of history and inspiration. We are becoming increasingly fond of short European trips loving the change of scenery and experiencing new adventures.
This was shot in a rose garden opposite the incredible coliseum. It was the prefect summer’s evening, the sun was setting in the distance and everyone was on their way home from work. The rose gardens were buzzing with locals and tourists enjoying the beautiful views and relaxing.
The humidity in the air was making my hair rather fluffy and after a long day of dotting around the city we were feeling a little tired, but something about these set of pictures instantly lift me up.
To me, they represent living. Even though we were tired, ready to call it a day and go eat, we made the most of the final hour of sunshine. It reminds me to live in the moment. I saw this quote online which I absolutely love and feel like it should be life's motto.
‘It’s a terrible thing, I think, in life to wait until you are ready. I have this feeling now that actually no one is ever ready to do anything. There is almost no such thing as ready. There is only now.’ – Hugh Laurie.

Outfit - Top/Zara Jeans/RiverIsland Belt/RiverIsland Earrings/Ottomanhands Rings/OttomanHands Bracelet/Ottomanhands

Stone Shades

I started this blog roughly 5 months ago, it has definitely served its purpose as an outlet for my creativity, opened new doors for experiences, highlighted my husband’s hidden photography talent (he has taken all my images so far, no previous photography training, never been creative as such and has no interest in arts unless it involves some sort of technology/gadgets - round of applause for him please!) and allowed me to interact with other creative individuals.
I find working with people you can bounce positive energy off is a must. I love hearing about projects / idea’s / plans, it gives me a boost to achieve more and set higher goals.
I have a couple of targets I am working towards in the art department, if everything goes to plan you will definitely hear all about it and if not – you will be my pick me up so I can give it another go at the next given opportunity.

I whipped together this stone palette combo for the weekend. I know I mentioned not wearing white often (here) but since that statement I’m gravitating towards it more than ever! Reverse psychology is a funny thing eh? I am a true Gemini down to the T, one moment I’m accessorise free and keeping it simple then I flip it to wearing every item I own in one go. This necklace was bought on a whim, a tad pricey but can be worn with virtually every top in my wardrobe – I am trying to ‘get my monies worth’ so you will see it pop up frequently!
Also may I highlight this beautiful gemmed ring from Ottoman Hands, I know the colours don’t match, some stones are pearlised and others rough, but for me it just works; a stunning piece with a beautiful gold plated finish. I broke up the neutral colours with my statement zebra pattern coat and small black tote bag.

Outfit – Shirt/Primark Jeans/RiverIsland Coat/Zara Boots/H&M Scarf/H&M Bag/MichaelKors Necklace/Zara Gem bracelet/OttomanHands Gem ring/OttomanHands Gold rings/H&M