Remember to not forget the basics during pregnancy.

In this day and age with so much emphasis on material items I think it’s crucial to remind yourself half of it isn’t necessary. I mean I felt it so much during the pregnancy that I decided to stop blogging all together. What irritated me was this constant need for everyone online to push items, push sales, convince someone they need products.
Not sure if you’ve noticed but for a good year, I’ve stopped linking items to the blog for that specific reason.
I don’t want to make anyone feel like they need anything, I don’t want to encourage disposable fashion, I want to encourage stability, eco friendly lifestyles and all round positive mind-sets.
Don’t get me wrong I love shopping and I love new things, but in all honesty its not needed.

Let’s talk about baby expenses.
Now initially this was one of the biggest factors that we reviewed before trying for baby Suri. How expensive can a baby be? Will we be able to afford it?
Hand on my heart, I think the saying ‘when you have a child, you make ends meet no matter what’ is very very true.
The initial expense is the cot, pushchair, clothes and nappies. Everything else is a luxury.
Again, I feel like the baby industry is such a lucrative one that baby shows and magazines can throw you off a little. They push sales for all the innovative products which claim to ‘help’ raise a baby with ease and through all the blogger promotions and advertisements, you feel almost brainwashed into thinking you need it.
Don’t get me wrong Gurp’s and I were convinced at times we needed specific items because someone recommended them, but in all honesty, all the extra items were little luxuries not necessities.

Comparison is the thief of joy.
For this reason specifically, I detest social media. It’s a glorified snapshot of so many peoples lifestyles; a little window that paints the idea of paradise.
Just because others have every baby item under the sun it doesn’t mean you need them.
Do your research and weigh out the importance of everything, I remember going to a baby show and they had all these extras for pushchairs; Gurps and I were baffled, we really felt as though our little list of necessities was all wrong. But now im on the other end of the pregnancy I can honestly say, trust your instinct, if you think you can do without, you most probably can.
Don’t let the media fool you into thinking you aren’t capable to raise a baby without all the fancy gadgets.
Your baby needs you, love, care and attention. It doesn’t need bedding in 13 different colour ways, 7 different contraptions for sterilising or 5 interchanging seats for the pushchair travel system.

Let’s rewind to our parents time.
If at any point you are stuck in the social media storm rewind your thoughts back to our parent’s time. As millennia’s most of us are living the life of luxury in comparison to our parents.
Luckily we haven’t faced the struggle of relocating with nothing, we haven’t had to all work from a young age to contribute to family bills and sacrificing education as a result. We have experienced life from a very selfish point of view in comparison to them.
We haven’t started from the complete bottom due to their diligence and hardworking natures. We are in an advantageous position where luxuries are considered the norm.
So if you erase all the social media, advertisements and catalogues, be realistic about what you need, if our parents managed to raise us with hand me downs, bare basics and half the technology we have; are we really that incapable of matching their ability to raise children?

Just believe in yourself.
The irony right? A blogger preaching about avoiding the material industry. Just remember, I started this blog as a personal visual diary to look back on, it just so happens you have all decided to join me on the journey too.
I know how strongly I feel about specific blogs driving products / promoting items because they have been paid to do so. It’s made me feel insufficient at times and I’ll be damned if what I do makes anyone feel that way, that is not my intention.
I’m simply sharing my journey, if it includes sharing my love of specific items consider it as a friend’s recommendation.
I don’t want to make you think you need anything to be amazing, if you take the time to read, better yourself and focus on positivity then you’re already there!

Pregnancy emotions - the early months

To say pregnancy is a rollercoaster of emotions is an understatement, it’s a life change, its everything you thought you knew about yourself out the window. Your body changes without knowing it, it’s hard to mentally keep up. Your mind is between the now and the future. Its almost the biggest reality check I’ve ever had. The concept of time goes quicker than ever before.

Remain grateful to be in the position 
In the early months of pregnancy, I remember feeling down and frustrated with my bodies changes. I felt like everything was getting turned upside down for me, while the rest of the world kept spinning and seemed normal for everyone else.
I was losing the body I had worked so hard daily to achieve. My appetite for the little food I did like had gone out the window and unfortunately I suffered from severe morning sickness (Hyperemesis Grvidarum) and ended up being admitted into the hospital. So not only did I feel awful, I looked it most days too. Pregnancy glow?! Far from it, I only experienced that after passing the 5 month mark!
Throughout the initial stages of wishing I didn’t feel the way I did, I had to snap out of what I consider a ‘first world luxury slump’.
I was being over emotional; there are so many women in this world who would kill to fall pregnant as quick as I did, there are so many women in this world who would do anything to experience growing their child, there are so many women who struggle alone with all the symptoms I did.

As awful as I felt, I needed to remind myself, I had a family that cared, I had a support system to fall back on, I had the NHS to overlook all the complications, I had help.
It’s easy to fall into a dip when exhaustion and emotions are at an all time low, but the main thing is to remain as grateful as possible. There are girls in this world who dream of having my life on my worst days, who am I to stand here and complain.

Research – educate yourself
After I pulled myself out of the emotional slump, I decided to get clued on. What exactly is happening to my body, what are the side effects, what is to come. I needed to know. It would be foolish of me to have access to resources such as books and internet and not know what my body is about to undertake.
I’m a strong believer of educating yourself. Never wait for others to hold your hand and show you, get up and better yourself for no ones benefit other than your own. I needed to know everything so I can then be the healthiest / fittest possible for my child.
I didn’t want to do anything to jeopardise the responsibility I had oF creating this little human.

I started off reading How to Grow a Baby and Push It Out by Clemmie Hoper. A nice little introduction to the world of pregnancy, with step by steps on what to expect each week in terms of changes to your body, the foetus development and explanations of all the blood tests / immunisations / labour procedures.
Confident about knowing my bits and bobs, I wanted to know more; I wanted to know what to anticipate closer to the babies’ arrival, so I read What to Expect the First Year Book by Heidi Murkoff. Now this book most definitely made me feel clued on, I had a clearer vision of what to expect and its in-depth explanations on all scenarios from breast feeding to dealing with guests was very helpful to read.

It’s just in my nature to read, I didn’t want to feel lost at any point so instead of feeling anxious about what was to come, I wanted to prepare myself the best way I knew how.

Communication is key.
I’m relatively level headed but during my pregnancy my emotions were on an insane rollercoaster that just kept getting faster.
But instead of stomping around and expecting Gurps / my boss / my family / friends to understand my moods I had to break it down every single day; How I felt emotionally and physically. I had to, because I was already in the unknown in terms of experiencing everything for the first time, I needed as much support I could get to carry on with a positive mental attitude. Being grateful was half of it, but the other half was needing physical support.
Pregnancy is draining, it honestly takes it out of your body. I considered myself fit before the pregnancy but I was shocked at how challenging I found it.
I was open with everyone and explained what I was struggling with and they were all accommodating and helped. If you don’t ask for help, no one will know. So don’t go through it alone, reach out.

Erase the millennial issue of f.o.m.o.
Having children doesn’t stop anything unless you let it. I had many one liners about ‘no more holidays’ too many in fact. But I don’t believe it.
You dictate how your life goes, if you want to travel with children you will make it happen. If you want to maintain a high social life with children you will make it happen, anything is possible.
I was willing to drop the f.o.m.o (Fear Of Missing Out) and focus all my energy on being pregnant and then preparing myself to be a mother.

Slow progress is better than no progress
Sometimes I feel like I talk sense but I have a bad habit of ignoring myself. I know what I need to do, I just don’t do it. By writing things down I remind myself of what I need to do, positivity, communication, forward thinking and bettering myself are still my main goals, some days I’m more productive than others; the main thing through the pregnancy was to keep going. Slow progress to being better each day is better than no progress.

Body confidence – during pregnancy

When I penned out my first piece on body confidence I thought I’d nailed it, I finally felt secure in who I was and didn’t feel phased by other people’s opinions good or bad.


When I discussed being pregnant I had numerous (women particularly) say to me, ‘ohh don’t be one of those pregnant ladies that wear tight dresses’ ‘don’t take any pictures of you just holding the bump (the artistic nude ones – which might I point out don’t show any private parts! ARTFULLY done)

I didn’t really know how to react, being pregnant was all new to me, should I present myself in a different way, should I dress like a mum to be? And following that one, how the hell does a mum to be dress?
Why should I change anything if I didn’t feel any different? My bump didn’t show till I was 6 months pregnant, even then it could have been passed off as a food baby.
I was frustrated and put mildly, pretty angry. I was angry that someone felt comfortable enough to say something so personal to me based on their opinion on how I should present myself.
I love wearing bodycon dresses, I’m happy having a curvy figure, why should I be ashamed to show it? Am I hurting anyone in doing so? Am I lowering myself as a woman? Does it change who I am as a person? No.
I’ve worked in fashion from a very young age, I relate to fashion on a personal level, how we present ourselves as individuals is our way of communicating who we are without speaking; I love how people interpret themselves through fashion.
So why did these comments bother me so much. I couldn’t believe in 2017 women are still trying to suppress the younger generation based on how they were brought up.

Don’t let it get to you is easily said then done, have you ever heard the saying ‘don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.’
That was simply what I needed to do and in the magic of perfect timing, I came across this piece written by Lily Singh;

‘’For most of my life, I didn't expose much skin, not because I didn't want to but because I felt guilty about it. I was taught that showing cleavage and legs is shameful and asking for judgment and trouble. As I grew up I teetered back and forth on this line between feeling sexy and feeling ashamed. Everyone had an opinion about what I wore on my body. Then I entered the entertainment industry and admittedly during shoots I often found myself feeling super confident, so I showed a little skin. But then, people assumed that I'm selling my body and resorting to sex without a choice in the matter. That's not the case. All this to say, I'm now in a place where what I wear is simple. In fact, it only follows one rule: I wear what I feel comfortable wearing. Sometimes that's a turtleneck and sometimes that's a bikini. Either way, it doesn't warrant your opinion, mistreatment or assumption. I think I look cute and if you disagree, feel free to dress differently. That's the beauty of being different people.’’

It's not right for anyone to think they can control someone or make another feel a certain way because of their own opinion. It's wrong.
Be respectful of everyone as an individual.
If someone feels comfortable in less than you should respect it, likewise if someone feels comfortable wearing more than you again, respect it.
What Lilly said resonates so well with me, that’s exactly how I grew up, but I’m extremely fortunate enough to be supported by Gurps with every decision I make in life. And that’s all that really matters right?
Forget the mould media and societies have created as ‘the norm’ we’re different for a reason, don’t let anyone let you think otherwise. So here it is, these pictures were taken when I was 18 weeks pregnant, happy and healthy.

The Times New York

Trusting the process

Ever felt a little uneasy about the situation you’re in? Whether we like it or not, where we are today is a direct result of the choices we have made in life. I go through a cycle of emotions regularly about my state of mind / progress in life / general status of what my purpose is. Here are three things I picked up along the way…

Have faith in the process.
It doesn’t matter what you are going through, sometimes we are presented with situations that make us question our purpose, or the direction we thought we should be taking in life. As much as we can plan events in our life we are all thrown curveballs that derail our original thought process.
Instead of throwing hands in the air and giving up, I think the best way to approach a nightmare unfolding is head on, keeping in mind the following;
- try to be logical – don’t make rash decisions or act on impulse when everything falls apart.
- try to maintain your character in a productive way and solve issues as methodically as possible. I sometimes get over emotional and start excessively thinking when I’m at wits end; usually this extra stress I create for myself don’t help the situation at all. Stay calm, remember your strength and carry on logically.
- As well as being present and thinking in the moment, try to react to situations that your future self can benefit from, short term resolutions will only lead to dead ends again. How can you flip the curve ball around to work in your favour? How can you make it a growing process to help you build character strength? Both of those will benefit your future self.

Who’s grass? How green?
Sometimes I find myself thinking, how is it not possible I haven’t achieved X Y and Z by now, and others have. What are they doing that I’m not? Who did they approach for answers on this, this and this? What help did they get? What are their secrets?


Stop right there! Who cares! Everyone struggles and everyone has a battle to fight, don’t compare yourself to them, it can bring out insecurities, envy and stress. Look a little closer to home and see your own development.
This life is not a race. This life is what we make it, we can spend days looking out the window and envying others or aspiring to be like them, when doing this we are wasting our present time and losing our inner peace.
I find I’m most happiest when I’m ignoring 99% of the world and staying in my own little bubble and progressing at my own little pace.
For instance since I’ve started writing my thoughts down in this blog, I’ve learnt how much I love sharing my musings, I love reading what others think, I love that I’m not so focused on the material aspect of blogging as much.
I’ve come to understand blogging is my process for documenting my creativity, my thoughts and a chunk of my life I can look back on;
It’s my little story, not anyone else’, so with that attitude I have eliminated room for comparisons and by magic the stress of being concerned with what others are doing or seeing them as competition has disappeared.

Work on you
I know I’ve mentioned this before, but working on yourself is paramount, just because your skills aren’t needed today doesn’t mean an opportunity wont pop up when they are needed. You have to have a positive mental attitude towards being prepared at all times for what you want in life.
Maybe today isn’t your day, maybe tomorrow isn’t but with consistent self-development your future self can benefit from being well prepared for any situation.
I don’t believe in overnight successes, I believe in being in the right place at the right time and being prepared. So do yourself the biggest favour you can and invest in yourself because from what I’ve learnt no one else will.

My little steps for self-acceptance

Self-acceptance is a process, I found it such a challenge to wake up completely satisfied with who I was, every day was and still is to an extent is work in progress.
For instance starting this blog took me two years to pick up the courage to do. I had shot content for the blog but I felt chubby, I felt ugly by societies standard and I knew if I didn't believe in the images how could I expect others to engage with it and relate to me. It didn't feel genuine as I was so dissatisfied with what I saw.
I used this feeling as a catalyst to change my attitude to self-love and started working on myself. I improved my health, my perception on self-image and by 2013 I felt ready to put myself out there.
This post is about how I learnt to love and accept who I am and how I benefit from the power of self-love and self-esteem.

Manage your inner demons.
Those voices that belittle you, the voices that tell you you're not good enough, you're not slim enough, you're not pretty enough MUST STOP.
I soon came to realise it wasn’t anyone telling me I wasn’t enough, the people around me were just happy plodding along with their own worries, the negative driving force was coming from ME. I was my own barrier, I had to change my mind-set in order to make an impact on daily happiness.
You are more important than any social limitation, 'your body size, race and sexual orientations are assets.' I heard Caira Lee say on one of the many Ted Talks I listen to.
Again; Your body, your size, your race and your sexual orientation are assets.'
Such a powerful line and super easy to say, but why is it so many of us struggle to accept and believe in this statement.
Be kind, encouraging and understanding to yourself as you are with friends and family. We tend to be our biggest critics and I feel like many of us limit ourselves relentlessly. Be your own best friend and challenge those inner demons, don’t get yourself down before you’ve even started.

What does caring about yourself really mean?
It’s not the occasional spa trip or manicure; It’s the process of daily affirmations. Make yourself number one priority, eat right, sleep right, exercise your body and your mind.
Caring for yourself is having the belief that what you are within is strong enough to shine out and contribute to bettering society, it is affirming to yourself that you ARE good enough. Admiring yourself or feeling confident isn’t to be taken in the same hand as arrogance or being self-centred. How I see it is, in order for us to positively contribute to the world we live in, we must work on ourselves before we can help others. Put yourself first, makes those improvements and then when you are ready share positivity and help others.
Being kind to yourself and nurturing those little voices in your head to encourage and build you up, make yourself strong enough to fight those fears, accept what you don't like and give yourself the power to change those negatives into positives.

Losing yourself
Find your passion, what makes your heart sing endlessly. What can you do for hours on end and feel a sense of satisfaction on completion. What fulfils you entirely. Find what it is that drives you and create it, obsess with it work on it and build your craft; be the best at what you do.
Howard Sherman said, 'do not ask what the world needs, ask what makes me come alive and do that, because what the world needs is people that have come alive'.
Satisfying that inner passion will help you realise your purpose in life. I know it sounds cheesy, but do it, focus on yourself and question all those doubts in your mind, isolate yourself enough to know what it is that really makes you happy, I’m 99% sure there is a career path out there for you that enlightens your soul and makes you happier. Even if you don’t have any intention of financially benefiting from your passion, keep it alive. I personally find it very therapeutic to devote my energy into something I love so much.

Love others
Self-love isn't just about you, it’s about embodying love entirely, it’s about uplifting those around you too. if people are doubtful around me I instinctively try to find a silver lining or help with a constructive solution. I thrive on encouraging productivity, I love to inspire others and I want to help them feel good, the same way I feel good.
After all we hear time and time again that energy is contagious. so why chose the painful route? if we can help one another a little, why hold back?
In a nutshell I think self-love self-acceptance is a full cycle of daily practises. Accept what has happened in the past, learn from it, grow from it, accept flaws and work towards a better you.
Focus less on others and more on your own trials and tribulations. The more energy you devote into bettering yourself and gaining knowledge means the less time you have to be hateful/jealous of others, or develop negative thoughts. Just remember the grass isn’t always greener on the other side; everyone has shitty days, some of us just hide it better than others.
A combination of the two above will guarantee positive vibes, I promise! And et voila practice improving yourself daily, work on self-love, self-worth and each day will feel that little bit more better.

Listening to my gut feeling and making personal improvements

Ever felt this feeling at the pit of your stomach, with everything inside you telling you your just not meant to be there? I have, many times over.
I’ve experienced this during social events, during my working day on my 9-5 and even at home. It’s almost as if I knew I needed to do something to break away from where I was.
I didn’t know what it was I needed to do, I didn’t know how to explain exactly what I was feeling, but I knew the place I was no longer kept me happy and to shake the anxious feeling I needed to move on.

It’s okay to outgrow people.
From a young age I’ve always been happy go lucky with my social life. For me it didn’t and still doesn’t define my happiness, I was just as comfortable sitting on the sofa at home as I was relaxing in a sheesha lounge with friends or in a bar. I didn’t need to have a wild Friday and Saturday night to feel like I’ve ‘lived’.
I started realising about 4 years ago that the level of engagement I would have with people was no longer fulfilling and if anything made me question my need to attend social events all together. I noticed personal changes I would make around individuals, I’d talk a little less and listen a little more.
The more I listened the more I felt at unease, I realised I had mentally outgrown the people I spent the most part of my teenage years and 20’s with.
I wanted to discuss achievements, set goals and work towards bettering myself, I couldn’t care less about X,Y or Z, mediocre gossip or reality tv talk. I didn’t want to binge drink till the early hours of the morning then eat trash at 3am, I didn’t want to experiment with drugs because it’s not a lifestyle that interests me in the slightest.
In a sense I didn’t understand what I was feeling back then but now I know it’s safe to say, It’s okay to not fit in, you don’t have to follow the rest of them; if you feel different follow your gut. If that road leads you temporarily down a route by yourself don’t panic, when you focus on what you believe and start working towards goals that interest you, likeminded people will be on the same path as you and a new set of friends will develop.
I’m not saying drop your friendly entirely, I just need you to know, it’s not a bad thing to feel out of place. Use your gut instinct to help you better your situation and move on towards a position that keep you happy and betters your future self.

The dreaded 9-5
Ever sat at your desk and thought, is this it? Is this my life? Is this excel spreadsheet going to be the death of me?
Unless you’re lucky to have been blessed with a silver spoon in your mouth, you, like myself will have to work to fund a lifestyle. Money is crucial in our lives, for the basics; food and shelter, everything else is a cherry on top.
Why are so many people stuck in a 9-5 they loathe? Why not be fearless enough to pursue your passion, follow your true dream and work towards loving your job?
I personally think it’s easy to get complacent with life, but if like myself you hate the reoccurring thought of knowing you are not fulfilling your maximum potential, changes need to be made.
It’s not as simple as packing up your job and doing what you love, I know; I’m in that position. But I believe if you find your passion, work on it with all your spare time, the time you invest in making your dreams become a reality will outwork the 9-5 and the hard work will pay off, allowing you to pursue a field of your choice.
You just need to be motivated enough to keep at it even when the rewards are slim, keep at it even when you aren’t receiving the recognition you feel you deserve, keep at it until you are in a position to comfortably leave your 9-5 and depend on your passion to bring in revenue.

Is my house really home?
If I’m not at work I’m usually at home, so it’s essential for me that my living space works for me and not against me. I mean that in the sense of it being my sanctuary; a place I can unwind and feel relaxed.
I’ve been lucky enough to move three times in the past three years which is a blessing in disguise, it’s never fun to part with a location you get comfortable in but there is a silver lining, you are forced to assess your material possessions.
When boxing everything up I make a point of clearing out items I no longer use and general junk I accumulate over the years.
This detox of material possessions is what keeps my home my safe heaven. I cannot stand unnecessary clutter, I don’t enjoy over packing my storage units, so I keep items to a minimum. Everything I own from my books to clothes and kitchen utensils are in a set place and all accessible.
A pet peeve is knowing I have something but not being able to find it, argh!!! How frustrating. So to avoid ever falling into that gap again I have adopted the process of smart shopping and regular clear outs. My home is my happy pace and I make sure I do everything possible to maintain that peace.


Listen to your gut feeling, no one knows you better than yourself. Sometimes it’s good to leave a comfort zone because I’ve learnt most the time I’m holding onto them for a false sense of security; if I really sit and think about it I didn’t need any of the comfort zones I led myself to believe I needed, I was strong enough to cope by myself. I hope you are too : )

Outfit - Skirt/HouseOfCB Blouse/Zara Choker/DIY