How I avoid disappointment in a relationship

The other week I had a conversation that sparked the topic of expectations and disappointments. A comment was made where my friend believed finding another half could complete him and make him happy again after recently ending a relationship that turned sour. From my experience with love and happiness I whole heartedly disagree with this. I think that thought is almost a dead end road and is sure to lead to disappointment. I have been lucky enough to find companionship in Gurps since the age of 16, our relationship feels effortless and he enriches my life in many ways. With that in mind, I don’t believe he completes me.

I suppose what I am trying to say is, even though he has been the focal point of my life for the last 11 years, my happiness is not in his hands or anyone else’s. The responsibility for my heart and happiness is in MY hands, it is not fair to him for me to pin my happiness on him.
It’s a nice thought to think someone completes you, but by thinking this way we are expecting them to do so. That level of expectation could result in disappointment. If I expect Gurps to shower me with goodies, cook me dinner and treat me like a princess with the mind-set that the result of these actions will keep me happy, I’ll be massively disappointed if he doesn’t follow through with any of them. So not only would I be disappointed in him, I’d also stress him out for not doing them resulting in some sort of argument and both parties being unhappy.
I think it’s good to go into a relationship as whole as you can be, if you are happy with your way of life, you will in-turn rub off that energy to others. If you feel incomplete you are continually expecting someone else to do something for you. Two happy people are unstoppable right? Two individuals searching for something else as well as love already have a set back because their expectations are too high. If you feel different let me know, its always good to see someone else’s spin on this topic.
I think the approach of having no expectations allows us to remove the opportunity to blame someone else. Like I mentioned in my motivation post, I believe if you eliminate room for excuses and stop playing the blame game by taking responsibility for your life the more successful your relationships will be.

I’m not saying Gurps doesn’t do those things, sure he buys me gifts and cooks a dinner or two; He does them, but the key is he is doing them because HE wants to, not because I expect him to do them.
I think relationships work a million times better when we put controlling egos aside and let each other be who we are. When you care for someone, unconsciously your actions make the other person happy. So the key to any relationship be it with friends or lovers is to be yourself, the people that click with you and work with your personality naturally stay. Anyone that demands more energy then you are willing to give isn’t meant for you.

So I’ve come to the conclusion that I myself am very happy as an individual, I feel whole and complete. Having Gurps by my side is like the cherry on top, he makes everything much sweeter. Obviously these are just opinions and I’d love to hear your take on relationships and whether or not you think a partners complete one another.

Outfit - Bralette/UrbanOutfitters Top/Mango Jacket/Zara(old similar) Scarf/Zara(detached from a coat/similar here)Hat/Aldo(old) Jeans/RiverIsland Boots/Zara Rings/Aldo

Brownie Time

Crisp Autumn days are the best, clear skies, sun shining and the opportunity to layer up and get cosy. Obviously if you don’t layer up enough you end up kicking yourself and if you over layer you end up stripping, it’s that ying-yang balance right? If you manage to find a blanket like coat then you are on to a winner. I picked this coat up last year in Marks & Spencer from the Limited Edition collection and there’s no chance of me getting rid of it any time soon. It is the equivalent of walking around with a fur duvet wrapped around you. The fur is definitely a great insulator and sure does keep you warm when you’re out and about.
Walking around Notting Hill before my cooking class at Recipease I stopped off for a hot chocolate and brownie. I have a huge soft spot for chocolate brownies, time of day does not affect my decision; If it’s on the menu, I’m having it!

Outfit – Coat/Marks&Spencer Boots/Ash Bag/Mango

Shimmer Season

A little more groomed than my last look, but it is always good to start the year off on a positive note. Its October Mitika, not January – I hear you! But the past weekend was New Years for me. New Year?! Yes you did read that right! Over the weekend I celebrated Diwali and the Hindu New Year, which is essentially the Indian equivalent to Christmas; plenty of food, presents and dressing up!
As you all know I gravitate towards animal prints (here, here and here!) but another one of my loves is sparkle. Sequins, embroidery, glitter, diamonds, and metallic’ s any of the above and I’m sold! I am like a magpie around shiny objects. So when presented with the opportunity to select an item of clothing from Laura Ashley’s autumn winter 2014 range the Matinee collection caught my eye straight away.
Matinee is a mix of beautiful lace designs, elegant embroidery and beading on a jewel tone palette. What I like about separates like this cardigan I picked is their versatility. It jazzes up the simplest of daywear and adds the finishing touches to an evening ensemble. Who said shimmer was only for a night out?
On a creative note, I’m super excited to release a new set of illustrations this week, be sure to check back a little later to see what I’ve been up to!

Outfit - Cardigan-C/OLauraAshley Belt/Charles&Keith Skirt/Primark Scarf/Zara Heels/Zara Earrings/ToryBurch

The Other Art Fair

The past weekend I popped my head round to ‘The Other Art Fair’ in the Old Truman Brewery on Brick Lane. There was an amazing display of talent and creativity, so much to think about and question. Visiting fairs like these help you to open your mind and consider art from someone else’s perspective, sometimes it is too easy to concentrate on your own methods you can forget to try anything new. I like artists that make me question their working process, or what the story behind their piece is.
Three artists that stood out the most to me were;
1) Fran Giffard, her work was beautifully presented on dairy pages and the quality of detail was to perfection; vivid colours with a fluent painting technique.
2) Damilola Odusote, the energy from his space and art was insane, he has definitely found a great style that works as his signature. It’s lovely to see a buzz around an individual’s work and know their hard work is paying off. He toys with the idea of merging two pieces to create one, linking them with 3d objects in a playful manner.
3) Olivier Marc Thomas Leger, His artwork cannot be taken in at a glance, the stories and detail in each piece is infinite. It’s almost like a story book on one page, there is an incredible amount of thought gone into creating all the mini worlds in one piece. This all might sound a little alien to you, but if you check his work out, you will be able to understand what I am talking about. Seeing artists like Olivier is refreshing, through all the shows I have been to, it is nice to see someone find their niche that does not follow the trend driven crowds.
Unfortunately I didn’t get a chance to photograph inside the event, but believe me it was buzzing. I did manage to pick up this wodge of inspiration in the form of 'Lie down I think I love you' books forever keep me busy, especially on those rainy days when leaving the house doesn't sound appealing!
After the show we took a quick stroll around the block and then straight back home. I currently have a little stack of deadlines coming up and with Diwali celebrations kicking off from mid-week I have had to keep my head down and get straight back to work. You will most probably be able to hear me ranting, singing, thinking out loud on my twitter feed!

Outfit – Crop T/UrbanOutfitters Shirt/Bershka Jacket/Adidas Joggers/Zara Trainers/Primark

New season, new me!

I’m excited for Autumn to settle in, let’s face it we said bye to Summer a little while ago! I’m ready for a new wardrobe palette, leafy hues and layering. This ox blood skirt is one of my favourite fall colours, it works well with the three basics (black, white & grey) It’s fluty shape is one that compliments my figure, skims my hips a little, flairs out, and sits a couple of inches above my knees. I teamed it with my new winter booties, I have never been too grunge but the gun metal hardware adds a little roughness to essentially a Chelsea boot in disguise! To round it off my beautiful little wool hat sits just right over my freshly cut hair; I enjoyed my long locks but I felt like I was ready for a drastic change! New season, new me!

Outfit – Jumper/Mango Skirt/Zara Boots/Zara Bag/Mango Hat/Primark