Pregnancy anxiety

It’s safe to say pregnancy brings on a bucketful of emotions, good and bad. Although my pregnancy journey was a positive one I couldn’t help but experience bouts of anxiety.
I don’t feel like anxiety attacks are fully understood, I came across this statement online which explained it perfectly;
Anxiety attacks don’t have to be hyperventilating and rocking back and forth, they can also be categorised by but not limited to;

- random burst of irritability
- obsessive behaviour and nit picking
- hypersensitivity
- pacing
- silence
- zoning out

It’s a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Which now looking back on, I’m sure every pregnant woman for the first time experiences.

For me, it was dealing with all these self proclaimed doctors / advice givers.
I had ‘advice’ (a term I will loosely use) flying at me from all directions. Everyone I came across had an opinion or piece of information to give me, whether or not I asked for it.

Don’t eat this – eat that
Don’t exercise so much
Wear these clothes instead of those
Name the baby this
Follow this piece of religious text
Make sure you read this to the baby every day
You’re not eating enough
Listen to this music- it's good for the baby

I can laugh at it now, but during my pregnancy I was so sensitive to everyone's opinions. My biggest hurdle was battling this picture I had painted in my head of what I thought the journey would be, but my pregnancy was far from glowing / nervous giggles and joyful planning ahead.
I was highly irritable 99% of the time, had a difficult time adjusting to the physical and would be so bad tempered when others tried to tell me how to act / what to do.
I guess the introvert in me wanted to be left alone, left alone to manage what I knew I could handle from the start.
I wanted to be left alone to enjoy the process by myself, that’s how I conduct myself most the time anyway; I’m the girl that favours a quiet night in 99% of the time.

I guess the point of this post is to remind ourselves of the comments we make daily.
There is a difference between constructive criticism, criticism, advice and opinions.
It’s insensitive to throw out information based on personal opinions and expect someone else to follow suit; It’s controlling and unfair.
I know so many other young mummies whom like myself have had to deal with the annoying ‘advice’ It’s rather insulting to think that people accuse you of not acting accordingly or saying your lifestyle choices are jeopardising the babies’ health.
I was extremely grateful to be in the position to grow a little human I would never have done anything to cause harm or risk the baby’s health. So it threw me countless times when I was critiqued on my diet / exercise / lifestyle.
I always encourage health, after all the better your physiology the better your psychology.
So unless you have advice that will actively help someone instead of hinder their personal progress; keep it hush hush.

Remember to not forget the basics during pregnancy.

In this day and age with so much emphasis on material items I think it’s crucial to remind yourself half of it isn’t necessary. I mean I felt it so much during the pregnancy that I decided to stop blogging all together. What irritated me was this constant need for everyone online to push items, push sales, convince someone they need products.
Not sure if you’ve noticed but for a good year, I’ve stopped linking items to the blog for that specific reason.
I don’t want to make anyone feel like they need anything, I don’t want to encourage disposable fashion, I want to encourage stability, eco friendly lifestyles and all round positive mind-sets.
Don’t get me wrong I love shopping and I love new things, but in all honesty its not needed.

Let’s talk about baby expenses.
Now initially this was one of the biggest factors that we reviewed before trying for baby Suri. How expensive can a baby be? Will we be able to afford it?
Hand on my heart, I think the saying ‘when you have a child, you make ends meet no matter what’ is very very true.
The initial expense is the cot, pushchair, clothes and nappies. Everything else is a luxury.
Again, I feel like the baby industry is such a lucrative one that baby shows and magazines can throw you off a little. They push sales for all the innovative products which claim to ‘help’ raise a baby with ease and through all the blogger promotions and advertisements, you feel almost brainwashed into thinking you need it.
Don’t get me wrong Gurp’s and I were convinced at times we needed specific items because someone recommended them, but in all honesty, all the extra items were little luxuries not necessities.

Comparison is the thief of joy.
For this reason specifically, I detest social media. It’s a glorified snapshot of so many peoples lifestyles; a little window that paints the idea of paradise.
Just because others have every baby item under the sun it doesn’t mean you need them.
Do your research and weigh out the importance of everything, I remember going to a baby show and they had all these extras for pushchairs; Gurps and I were baffled, we really felt as though our little list of necessities was all wrong. But now im on the other end of the pregnancy I can honestly say, trust your instinct, if you think you can do without, you most probably can.
Don’t let the media fool you into thinking you aren’t capable to raise a baby without all the fancy gadgets.
Your baby needs you, love, care and attention. It doesn’t need bedding in 13 different colour ways, 7 different contraptions for sterilising or 5 interchanging seats for the pushchair travel system.

Let’s rewind to our parents time.
If at any point you are stuck in the social media storm rewind your thoughts back to our parent’s time. As millennia’s most of us are living the life of luxury in comparison to our parents.
Luckily we haven’t faced the struggle of relocating with nothing, we haven’t had to all work from a young age to contribute to family bills and sacrificing education as a result. We have experienced life from a very selfish point of view in comparison to them.
We haven’t started from the complete bottom due to their diligence and hardworking natures. We are in an advantageous position where luxuries are considered the norm.
So if you erase all the social media, advertisements and catalogues, be realistic about what you need, if our parents managed to raise us with hand me downs, bare basics and half the technology we have; are we really that incapable of matching their ability to raise children?

Just believe in yourself.
The irony right? A blogger preaching about avoiding the material industry. Just remember, I started this blog as a personal visual diary to look back on, it just so happens you have all decided to join me on the journey too.
I know how strongly I feel about specific blogs driving products / promoting items because they have been paid to do so. It’s made me feel insufficient at times and I’ll be damned if what I do makes anyone feel that way, that is not my intention.
I’m simply sharing my journey, if it includes sharing my love of specific items consider it as a friend’s recommendation.
I don’t want to make you think you need anything to be amazing, if you take the time to read, better yourself and focus on positivity then you’re already there!

Body confidence – during pregnancy

When I penned out my first piece on body confidence I thought I’d nailed it, I finally felt secure in who I was and didn’t feel phased by other people’s opinions good or bad.


When I discussed being pregnant I had numerous (women particularly) say to me, ‘ohh don’t be one of those pregnant ladies that wear tight dresses’ ‘don’t take any pictures of you just holding the bump (the artistic nude ones – which might I point out don’t show any private parts! ARTFULLY done)

I didn’t really know how to react, being pregnant was all new to me, should I present myself in a different way, should I dress like a mum to be? And following that one, how the hell does a mum to be dress?
Why should I change anything if I didn’t feel any different? My bump didn’t show till I was 6 months pregnant, even then it could have been passed off as a food baby.
I was frustrated and put mildly, pretty angry. I was angry that someone felt comfortable enough to say something so personal to me based on their opinion on how I should present myself.
I love wearing bodycon dresses, I’m happy having a curvy figure, why should I be ashamed to show it? Am I hurting anyone in doing so? Am I lowering myself as a woman? Does it change who I am as a person? No.
I’ve worked in fashion from a very young age, I relate to fashion on a personal level, how we present ourselves as individuals is our way of communicating who we are without speaking; I love how people interpret themselves through fashion.
So why did these comments bother me so much. I couldn’t believe in 2017 women are still trying to suppress the younger generation based on how they were brought up.

Don’t let it get to you is easily said then done, have you ever heard the saying ‘don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.’
That was simply what I needed to do and in the magic of perfect timing, I came across this piece written by Lily Singh;

‘’For most of my life, I didn't expose much skin, not because I didn't want to but because I felt guilty about it. I was taught that showing cleavage and legs is shameful and asking for judgment and trouble. As I grew up I teetered back and forth on this line between feeling sexy and feeling ashamed. Everyone had an opinion about what I wore on my body. Then I entered the entertainment industry and admittedly during shoots I often found myself feeling super confident, so I showed a little skin. But then, people assumed that I'm selling my body and resorting to sex without a choice in the matter. That's not the case. All this to say, I'm now in a place where what I wear is simple. In fact, it only follows one rule: I wear what I feel comfortable wearing. Sometimes that's a turtleneck and sometimes that's a bikini. Either way, it doesn't warrant your opinion, mistreatment or assumption. I think I look cute and if you disagree, feel free to dress differently. That's the beauty of being different people.’’

It's not right for anyone to think they can control someone or make another feel a certain way because of their own opinion. It's wrong.
Be respectful of everyone as an individual.
If someone feels comfortable in less than you should respect it, likewise if someone feels comfortable wearing more than you again, respect it.
What Lilly said resonates so well with me, that’s exactly how I grew up, but I’m extremely fortunate enough to be supported by Gurps with every decision I make in life. And that’s all that really matters right?
Forget the mould media and societies have created as ‘the norm’ we’re different for a reason, don’t let anyone let you think otherwise. So here it is, these pictures were taken when I was 18 weeks pregnant, happy and healthy.