Pregnancy anxiety

It’s safe to say pregnancy brings on a bucketful of emotions, good and bad. Although my pregnancy journey was a positive one I couldn’t help but experience bouts of anxiety.
I don’t feel like anxiety attacks are fully understood, I came across this statement online which explained it perfectly;
Anxiety attacks don’t have to be hyperventilating and rocking back and forth, they can also be categorised by but not limited to;

- random burst of irritability
- obsessive behaviour and nit picking
- hypersensitivity
- pacing
- silence
- zoning out

It’s a feeling of worry, nervousness, or unease about something with an uncertain outcome. Which now looking back on, I’m sure every pregnant woman for the first time experiences.

For me, it was dealing with all these self proclaimed doctors / advice givers.
I had ‘advice’ (a term I will loosely use) flying at me from all directions. Everyone I came across had an opinion or piece of information to give me, whether or not I asked for it.

Don’t eat this – eat that
Don’t exercise so much
Wear these clothes instead of those
Name the baby this
Follow this piece of religious text
Make sure you read this to the baby every day
You’re not eating enough
Listen to this music- it's good for the baby

I can laugh at it now, but during my pregnancy I was so sensitive to everyone's opinions. My biggest hurdle was battling this picture I had painted in my head of what I thought the journey would be, but my pregnancy was far from glowing / nervous giggles and joyful planning ahead.
I was highly irritable 99% of the time, had a difficult time adjusting to the physical and would be so bad tempered when others tried to tell me how to act / what to do.
I guess the introvert in me wanted to be left alone, left alone to manage what I knew I could handle from the start.
I wanted to be left alone to enjoy the process by myself, that’s how I conduct myself most the time anyway; I’m the girl that favours a quiet night in 99% of the time.

I guess the point of this post is to remind ourselves of the comments we make daily.
There is a difference between constructive criticism, criticism, advice and opinions.
It’s insensitive to throw out information based on personal opinions and expect someone else to follow suit; It’s controlling and unfair.
I know so many other young mummies whom like myself have had to deal with the annoying ‘advice’ It’s rather insulting to think that people accuse you of not acting accordingly or saying your lifestyle choices are jeopardising the babies’ health.
I was extremely grateful to be in the position to grow a little human I would never have done anything to cause harm or risk the baby’s health. So it threw me countless times when I was critiqued on my diet / exercise / lifestyle.
I always encourage health, after all the better your physiology the better your psychology.
So unless you have advice that will actively help someone instead of hinder their personal progress; keep it hush hush.

Body confidence – during pregnancy

When I penned out my first piece on body confidence I thought I’d nailed it, I finally felt secure in who I was and didn’t feel phased by other people’s opinions good or bad.


When I discussed being pregnant I had numerous (women particularly) say to me, ‘ohh don’t be one of those pregnant ladies that wear tight dresses’ ‘don’t take any pictures of you just holding the bump (the artistic nude ones – which might I point out don’t show any private parts! ARTFULLY done)

I didn’t really know how to react, being pregnant was all new to me, should I present myself in a different way, should I dress like a mum to be? And following that one, how the hell does a mum to be dress?
Why should I change anything if I didn’t feel any different? My bump didn’t show till I was 6 months pregnant, even then it could have been passed off as a food baby.
I was frustrated and put mildly, pretty angry. I was angry that someone felt comfortable enough to say something so personal to me based on their opinion on how I should present myself.
I love wearing bodycon dresses, I’m happy having a curvy figure, why should I be ashamed to show it? Am I hurting anyone in doing so? Am I lowering myself as a woman? Does it change who I am as a person? No.
I’ve worked in fashion from a very young age, I relate to fashion on a personal level, how we present ourselves as individuals is our way of communicating who we are without speaking; I love how people interpret themselves through fashion.
So why did these comments bother me so much. I couldn’t believe in 2017 women are still trying to suppress the younger generation based on how they were brought up.

Don’t let it get to you is easily said then done, have you ever heard the saying ‘don’t raise your voice, improve your argument.’
That was simply what I needed to do and in the magic of perfect timing, I came across this piece written by Lily Singh;

‘’For most of my life, I didn't expose much skin, not because I didn't want to but because I felt guilty about it. I was taught that showing cleavage and legs is shameful and asking for judgment and trouble. As I grew up I teetered back and forth on this line between feeling sexy and feeling ashamed. Everyone had an opinion about what I wore on my body. Then I entered the entertainment industry and admittedly during shoots I often found myself feeling super confident, so I showed a little skin. But then, people assumed that I'm selling my body and resorting to sex without a choice in the matter. That's not the case. All this to say, I'm now in a place where what I wear is simple. In fact, it only follows one rule: I wear what I feel comfortable wearing. Sometimes that's a turtleneck and sometimes that's a bikini. Either way, it doesn't warrant your opinion, mistreatment or assumption. I think I look cute and if you disagree, feel free to dress differently. That's the beauty of being different people.’’

It's not right for anyone to think they can control someone or make another feel a certain way because of their own opinion. It's wrong.
Be respectful of everyone as an individual.
If someone feels comfortable in less than you should respect it, likewise if someone feels comfortable wearing more than you again, respect it.
What Lilly said resonates so well with me, that’s exactly how I grew up, but I’m extremely fortunate enough to be supported by Gurps with every decision I make in life. And that’s all that really matters right?
Forget the mould media and societies have created as ‘the norm’ we’re different for a reason, don’t let anyone let you think otherwise. So here it is, these pictures were taken when I was 18 weeks pregnant, happy and healthy.